Writing Underwater/
- November 5, 2020
Toni chats about being the facts person, feeling overwhelmed with the easing lockdown restrictions, the most annoying dinner, talking more on Instagram stories, and we see what happens when we write underwater with a pen.
On today’s show:
- Being the facts person
- Feeling overwhelmed with easing lockdown restrictions
- The most annoying dinner
- Talking more on Instagram stories
- Writing underwater
Email us – hi@onetricktoni.com
Instagram – @onetricktonishow
Send Toni mail – PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY.
Episode Tags
Toni Lodge: [00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to episode 14 of one trick, Tony, the podcast, where you can forget about your own problems for a minute and think about mine, INSEAD, INSEAD. Oh, uh, it doesn't have to be instead. Um, like I said, episode 14, uh, I'm here with pace and my personal assistant. Um, and if you're new here, um, You probably aren't odd.
I'm not going to worry about that. Um, I sound so snuffly. I just realized though, I actually sound a bit snuffly. We were just talking before about, um, how I've got hay fever and it's just like a really shit affliction. And I thought of a fact, um, did you know that apparently if you get hay fever that if you eat the local honey, like honey from like a really local farm, that apparently it's really good for your high favor because the bees.
Ate, all of the honey ate all the flowers from the local area and it's like really good for your hay fever.
Mason Lauder: [00:01:05] Really?
Toni Lodge: [00:01:05] Yeah. You can Google that. That's a real thing.
Mason Lauder: [00:01:09] The thing is like, yeah, I, I wouldn't, um, I wouldn't go against that because it's like the little it's good for your immune system and stuff like that.
All the. Menuca honey, like it's a real good.
Toni Lodge: [00:01:22] Um, and this is actually not the first time we've talked about bees at Lake, um, on the podcast. I think it was literally like episode one or episode two, right? When an led be brigade. Um, but yeah, it's a real thing. It's a real thing. Someone told me when I moved to like a new part of, of WIA when I lived there and someone was like, yeah, if you get really bad hay fever, you should eat like local honey.
Apparently it's really good for you.
Mason Lauder: [00:01:48] Really? Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:01:50] It's just not coming out. Is that a
Mason Lauder: [00:01:52] lie? No, it is. They say it's a myth.
Toni Lodge: [00:01:54] Oh, Oh. I tell everyone that it's like, I've got this other factor that I really like. And it's that all pomegranates have the same amount of seeds. And I don't know if that's true either, but I say that a lot.
Can you Google that, is that true?
Mason Lauder: [00:02:12] I'm sure they don't
Toni Lodge: [00:02:14] know that like they all have the same amount within like five or 10. Apparently that's a real thing.
Mason Lauder: [00:02:22] Same amount. Let's say 613 comes up. Put number of pomegranate. Sage can vary from 200 to 1400
Toni Lodge: [00:02:29] awesome. Vastly different. Okay. So that's two of my favorite facts.
Oh, do I have any other favorite facts? Oh, this is a good one, actually. Um, that your foot is the same length as like the crease in your elbow to your wrist, like the crease of your risk.
Mason Lauder: [00:02:50] I think we've actually mentioned that before.
Toni Lodge: [00:02:52] Oh fuck. Okay. That one's real. That one's a hundred percent real. Um, do you have any other good facts?
Mason Lauder: [00:02:59] Ah, um, Now I've never been good with just pulling them out. Like I don't have any on hand. I wish I was that I wish I was the fact guy and I just could, would it be nice?
Toni Lodge: [00:03:13] Yeah. I just, there's definitely people in the world that are really good with trivia. And I just, I'm not very good, but then I just remember really dumb stuff.
Like I could recite like all of my friend's phone numbers from when I was a kid, let their home phone numbers, but like, I don't know any of my times tables, which we have also talked about
Mason Lauder: [00:03:32] before, but I noticed like I got real defensive the other day when, because, so we were, we were driving through the city, coming back from the South Melbourne market on the weekend and.
We were going past, well, like the Eureka tower in Melbourne,
Toni Lodge: [00:03:52] which is
Mason Lauder: [00:03:54] okay. So the Eureka tower,
Toni Lodge: [00:03:57] um,
Mason Lauder: [00:03:57] the one with the sky deck on it, where you can go out and the little box comes out the side. And so. It's the tallest building in Melbourne. And so this is what I thought going into the conversation as a grace comes in she's she's come over from Perth, my girlfriend, and
Toni Lodge: [00:04:12] she's like five, six months.
Mason Lauder: [00:04:14] Yeah. And she was just like, I'm just like, I'll look up there. That's the tallest building in the Southern hemisphere. It's just like nonstop. No it is. I went there on a school excursion. I know it is.
Toni Lodge: [00:04:25] So last year
Mason Lauder: [00:04:29] turns out they've built a building next to it that finished this year. That's taller. So,
Toni Lodge: [00:04:33] Oh, so actually it was the tallest until this year.
Yeah.
Mason Lauder: [00:04:39] Yeah. But I was absolutely not. I was like, no, it's definitely the tallest. I know that it's
Toni Lodge: [00:04:43] really dig your heels in about something as well. And someone's like, No, it was, um, only recently. So on this podcast, if you're new here, I'll continue this one at the beginning of the show, if I ever get to it because, um, I always go off on a tangent like this, this is not planned.
Um, I feel like I have to preface all my shit ideas with this. Wasn't actually planned to not approve this, but we use a scatter grease. Die, which is like a 20 sided die from the Scattergories game. It's got lots of letters on it. And I said to, um, the girls at work, I was like, Oh yeah, let die. Now. Like, you know, that it's dice, like dice is the singular.
And I was like, I was like, Oh, Oh, okay. And I do not like confrontation, so I was just like, Oh, okay. Whatever. And then someone Googled it and they like really dug their heels in and then someone Googled it and they're like, Oh, no, dye is the singular. And dice is the plural. And I was like, Oh, I didn't, I just assumed I was wrong.
I guess like, I've just got such terrible anxiety that I was like, I must be wrong. Like, I'm not going to find anybody on that. And I was right. Yeah. But, you know, when you just like so sure about something and you just like really dig your heels in and then you like are wrong and you look like, fuck it.
Mason Lauder: [00:05:57] That's exactly what I did. Yeah, it wasn't ideal. But there you go. That's another fact, the Eureka tower is not the tallest tower in the Southern hemisphere. It's the one next door. It's a bit shit now because that's meant to be like a tourism thing. That's like. The tours one and then the one next door is now the tours.
It's a bit,
Toni Lodge: [00:06:16] really understand the point in that. And like how much is it toll by
Mason Lauder: [00:06:22] it's an eye. It doesn't look that much, to be honest, like we were, we were looking at
Toni Lodge: [00:06:26] like, if it's just a bit taller, then, like what are they going to buy the block next to that? And make that just a bit taller as well? Like what the fuck?
Mason Lauder: [00:06:34] Yeah. So it's called Australia one Oh eight. That's the new one.
Toni Lodge: [00:06:37] Oh, what a shit name? I know flaws. Yeah, I reckon.
Mason Lauder: [00:06:46] Uh, okay, so it's 300 and 316 meters high and the Eureka tower is 297.
Toni Lodge: [00:06:56] So what does one Oh eight mean?
Mason Lauder: [00:07:00] It must be floors because there's, so it says there's total falls a hundred, but there may be like eight more levels on top.
That would make sense.
Toni Lodge: [00:07:09] Oh, well, now I want to know why it's called 108. It's not important, but I want to know, sorry. This is very interesting. This isn't very interesting. Um,
Mason Lauder: [00:07:20] 109 stories,
Toni Lodge: [00:07:22] 108 stories. Great, great. Um,
Mason Lauder: [00:07:26] $900 million cost to build
Toni Lodge: [00:07:28] Nazi it on Australian architecture. Join us next week, where we talk about Chadstone shopping center.
Um, Oh, I've got the depression today, mate.
Mason Lauder: [00:07:41] I'm feeling flat as well.
Toni Lodge: [00:07:42] I've got the fucking depression. I know.
Mason Lauder: [00:07:45] What's it for you?
Toni Lodge: [00:07:47] I don't know. I feel like.
So as of last weekend, we were allowed to do stuff again in Melbourne, which is super, super exciting. And I wonder if that was just like a little bit overwhelming. So because on this exact podcast, this, this exact one, a one trick, tiny fellas on Instagram, um, I've like talked about like, Having anxiety and depression and stuff like most of my life.
And I, I dunno, I just, I feel like comes in ways, waves, not ways. Um, and anybody that like, experiences that I guess would probably gray. And I don't know. I wonder if it was just like that, it was really overwhelming that we could do stuff with our friends again, and that everybody was like, let's do something.
And I sound so. Fucking ungrateful, which makes me really angry. But at the same time, if you said tonight, Tony I'm feeling overwhelmed. I wouldn't be like, you're being so ungrateful. I'd be like, Oh my God, take time for yourself. But you know how you just like, get stuck in that, like right in your brain.
Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like today, Oh, the last couple of days have been heavenly. They've been like 25, 30 degrees every day. And then today, like the weather it's raining again. And I don't know.
Mason Lauder: [00:09:06] Yeah. I mean, it is, it is like the, everything opening back up, like I've even noticed like where we're doing. Like, I think we've, we've gone.
A little hard in terms of everything that we've done. Like we've caught up with like, like friends and, and all that sort of stuff, like gone to the South Melbourne market. And then it's just like now when it goes back to being all cloudy and rainy, it's like, Ugh.
Toni Lodge: [00:09:30] Yeah, it's just weird. And it just like, it's really hard because it just feels everything.
And I think that for so long, you know, a few quite a few months or a hundred days, Consecutively that we will lock to like fully locked down in stage four. I feel that all that energy, it should have pulled up, but it hasn't. And now I'm shocked that even though I've just had all that time. Off quote unquote, from seeing friends and going out and doing stuff and spending money and you know, all of that stuff I felt as if all of that would have banked up, but it hasn't, and now I'm really drained.
And that's because I guess it's kind of like fitness where you don't. Do it, and then you kind of get used to being, staying at home and knowing that yeah. And like that every night you're going to have a good night's sleep or you're not going to go out and drink or beat standing out in the cold because you're at a party or not a party.
Cause you can only have two people over, but you know, like out drinking or. And I just, I don't really drink a lot. I'm not a big drinker, so that's probably during lockdown. I just rarely drank. So maybe now I've had a couple of big nights out and I'm just like, but,
um, but yeah, I'm in today. I just feel really. Wow. Like, and I feel bad because I sound, I think I sound really devastated as well. I'm sorry everybody. If I sound really depressed, everybody that's listening. The two people that are listening, um, um, are, and the hay fever, I'm pollinating all over the place.
Mason Lauder: [00:11:10] How'd you go with your clothes? Just like going out. Did you. Did you have your outfits?
Toni Lodge: [00:11:16] Oh yes. I, I ended up wearing something that I had, of course. Um, but yeah, not a big selection. Just because I was, I had forgotten all this shit that I had. Um, and all the girls as well. I think that, did I say this last week that everybody was messaging me, like, Oh my God, what am I going to wear?
Um, and I was like, well, fuck if I know. Yeah. And then, um, ours, I do this really horrible thing and it's like, I don't know, I guess like a really deep form of self-loathing or something self-loathing um, I always buy clothes in a size that is like way too big. Like. Huge. Like literally just like sizes way too big for my body in particular, I'm saying my exact body, I always buy clothes that are way bigger.
And cause I'm like, then when I get them, I really hope that people will, Oh, I'm going to sound crazy. Um, and then I'm like, when I get them, If they don't fit it's because they're too big. I'm never going to get clothes that are too small. And then I'm not going to be like, these clothes are too small and I can't enjoy them.
And because I can, so like I just jumped on the old sewing machine and I'll like, I'll try clothes on. As soon as I get them, I take them in and blah, blah. And, um, and so I bought all these clothes, like a few. I know I it's literally it's so it's so stupid. And, um, I would like to blame Stan non-standardized sizing for that.
And so like, Oh, well, if every. Clothing company made the same sizes and that's not just in girls clothes either like Torb. So my secret fake producer, boyfriend, he not secret just fake I'm
Mason Lauder: [00:12:58] like,
Toni Lodge: [00:13:01] yeah, I know, but that made it sound like I had a different other boyfriend, um, who was a secret. Um, and you would have said this as well.
Like, cause boys pants are in like centimeters or inches or whatever, and literally he'll have two pairs of pants that are the exact same inches, but there'll be like fully different sizes. It's so fucked.
Mason Lauder: [00:13:23] It is so
Toni Lodge: [00:13:25] fucked. And I guess, because have all been shopping online recently that, you know, you're buying all these clothes and you feel shit about yourself, but it's because all the sizings are different bull blah.
Anyway, I bought all these clothes and literally they're just way too big. And I was like, Oh, I can't buy a smaller size. And um, my friend line was like, You're being stupid. You're being crazy. Like if you just bought clothes that are actually your size, that will fit you. And so I ordered some clothes and they came today and they fit shocker, shocker.
I bought clothes that actually fit me and I put them on now say, Oh, I don't have to alter these. That feels great. Um, and Oh, so dumb, so dumb, but yeah, and I always, I always do it. I hope that people can relate to that. Maybe we'll cut that out.
Mason Lauder: [00:14:10] How often are you sewing? Oh,
Toni Lodge: [00:14:12] I saw it almost everything really?
Yeah. Cause I just buy clothes way too big, like so big. Like literally I. Like, and I mean, so big for me, not clothes that are so big and not like body shaming at all. They're just way too big for my actual body in particular. Like I, the clothes that I bought today that ended up coming and fitting, and this means absolutely nothing like clothing size means fuck all, because I've bought clothes that are way bigger size, like on the tag that haven't fit.
Like they're been too small, but generally I would say I'm probably a size 16. And I've bought dresses that are size 20 and don't fit because the sizing is really small and I've also bought clothes that are way smaller than that, that fear. Um, and even this t-shirt is, um, Aperol. It's like a, um, Brisbane brand.
I think they're Australian. Oh, is that very popular? Oh my God. Am I fashionable? Yeah. Oh, cool.
Mason Lauder: [00:15:12] Yeah, the gracious, my girlfriend loves it.
Toni Lodge: [00:15:14] Oh yeah. It's really, really cool. Cause it's Australian. Actually, the reason that I ended up buying from there is because I'd followed them on Instagram for ages. I thought their clothes were real cool.
Um, and I think they sent some t-shirts to PJ as well. Um, Jason PJ, who I work with, um, my real job, not this one, this one's just for fun. Um, Not for the money. They sent some clothes, but, um, during like the black lives matter, like revolution online, they supported. And like they talked heaps about like local indigenous art, like from their area in Brisbane and stuff like that.
And it was really fucking cool. And that's actually why I ended up buying for them. Cause I was like, Oh, they're donating money to like women's shelters. And I think even still now it's like 5% of every purchase or maybe $5 or. Don't quote me on that, but they, but they, um, donate like five something, um, to, yeah.
Like people in need anyway. Um, but this t-shirt right is like a two XL. That's like the biggest size that they sell, but it's like quite a small, I mean, like it fits my body, but you know what I mean? But like crazy because then you would go somewhere else and you would like, I don't know. I sound crazy. I sound that truly crazy.
Tobes has computers just turned on. It's a whole thing. It's just, I dunno what to do. It's it's behind me and I can say it. Do you want me to get him to turn that off?
Mason Lauder: [00:16:44] No, that's okay.
Toni Lodge: [00:16:45] Oh, just sound crazy.
Mason Lauder: [00:16:48] Nah, I get it today though. Like it just, I feel, I feel tired as well.
Toni Lodge: [00:16:53] Why are you tired?
Mason Lauder: [00:16:55] Um,
Toni Lodge: [00:16:56] Oh, what happened?
Mason Lauder: [00:16:58] No, no, no, no. Nothing's happened.
Toni Lodge: [00:16:59] I dunno. I
Mason Lauder: [00:17:02] just seriously nothing's happened. So, I mean the only, the only I'm just tired because
Toni Lodge: [00:17:08] you say please, cause I've just gone on a crazy rant. I talked about what five
Mason Lauder: [00:17:12] I'm just, I'm just tired because we spent yesterday. Uh,
Toni Lodge: [00:17:16] so yesterday we had a public holiday.
Mason Lauder: [00:17:19] Yep.
So yeah, I saw, I spent our public holiday, um, Hanging out with one of the podcasts collaborators. And we ended up walking from South bank in Melbourne, which is sort of like central in the same Bay day and all the way to port Melbourne, which is a slut, slightly annoying walk. Like we, we got in 20,000 steps.
So yeah. A little bit
Toni Lodge: [00:17:51] fun reason to be tired. I thought you were going to say like, Oh God, I was with their podcast collaborators and we all did heroin and now I'm so tired. Like that's not like a good story.
Mason Lauder: [00:18:03] No, but it was hot and it was tiring. It was
Toni Lodge: [00:18:05] fucking boiling yesterday. You know how old I am, you know what I did yesterday on our public holiday, I woke up.
Slightly hung over just a tiny bit. And I mopped and scrubbed our balcony because there's like, um, construction going on around us. Excuse me. I'm so sorry who, um, that wasn't the pollen. That was something else. Um, there's like all this construction going on around us at the moment and the dust is just outrageous.
So I. I mopped our balcony. Isn't that the most tragic thing you've ever heard? Oh,
Mason Lauder: [00:18:49] I feel like
Toni Lodge: [00:18:50] on a public holiday, I feel I can need to point out. Right. So last week on the show, we celebrated patients 21st birthday. Um, happy birthday again.
Mason Lauder: [00:19:01] Thank you. Happy birthday for your 21st as well.
Toni Lodge: [00:19:04] Well, I actually got a lot of messages from people saying like, have you 21st birthday?
I'm 26. I think that maybe people don't know that I'm a hundred. Um, and I'm really old. I'm actually super old. Um, I really appreciate that though, because, and up until I was 20, I looked 12, so I feel like I'm finally catching up. Um, but I'm actually, I'm 26. I'm turning 27 later this year. So thank you for saying I look 21, but I'm not 21 and I don't even wish that I was, I don't think just feels like, Oh, so long ago.
Do you feel any different now that you're 21? No, not
Mason Lauder: [00:19:42] really.
Toni Lodge: [00:19:43] I mean, you went on a, like coast to coast walk.
Mason Lauder: [00:19:46] Yeah. That's
Toni Lodge: [00:19:47] true holiday. That's kind of like an old people thing to do, I guess. Um, over the weekend, actually, um,
it's a gripe. It is a gripe
Mason Lauder: [00:20:02] bag.
Toni Lodge: [00:20:03] Um, um, so. Every Friday night I sit down or if we go out or doing something, we'll do it Saturday night, but generally every Friday night. So I can, I. So I can, I, so I'm not an absolute hot mess today. Um, so that I can go and do our shopping on the Saturday morning, we like organize our meals on the Friday night and we say, Oh, we'll have like these four or five or six things or whatever.
However many things we'll need to buy depending on our plans and what we've got in the freezer or whatever. And then, um, I'll like write up the rest of the list in my OCD way. And then. Perfect. Like all done. And we sat down on Saturday to do it because we, um, had like a work drinks on Friday afternoon.
And then, so I didn't do it Saturday, Saturday night. And then I was like, Oh, what should we have for dinner on Sunday night? So we had like four other dinners picked out and then I was, and then tubs was like, Oh, I've got it. And I was like, fuck, here we go. I know that to say, What is one of the most annoying dinners ever homemade pizza.
Delicious. So fun. So great. Love it, Alex. So carefree. Yeah, it's really delicious. It is the biggest pain in the fucking ass. And I'll tell you for why you've got to get the bases. You've got to get the shit. You got to get all the little bits. You got to get well, and then one person says that they might maybe wants among in.
So you've got to get hall again. And then another person says, Oh, I might want like some little tomatoes. So you got to buy a whole fucking thing in tomato, and then you got to cuddle the shit up. Then you got to do those stuff. It's expensive. It's a pain. So
Mason Lauder: [00:21:50] expensive.
Toni Lodge: [00:21:51] Yes. It's delicious, but cost. Yeah, I Oh,
Mason Lauder: [00:21:56] it is ridiculous.
Toni Lodge: [00:21:58] Such a fricking pain and yes, it was really young. Like, yes, it was lovely. And you stand at the kitchen together and you go, but you know, I could over any meal. I don't need, I don't
Mason Lauder: [00:22:15] need to do that chase for that.
Toni Lodge: [00:22:17] Yeah. Mike. Oh, like, Oh, it's just. It just sounds like one of those meals that's going to be cheap and easy and it isn't, it is so much work.
Mason Lauder: [00:22:33] Yeah. You better ordering in. Yeah, literally
Toni Lodge: [00:22:35] I'd rather just order pizza is always really nice. Like it's delicious and you can make them really healthy. All of that. I get that, but it's just one of those things that I just. I always think is going to be really nice, but I just always regret it. And as soon as he said it, I was like, fuck, actually, Oh, you know what?
I do want to get one of those, um, whereby pizza stones. Oh yes. Barbecue. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get one of those.
Mason Lauder: [00:23:06] Yeah. That'd be great when they
Toni Lodge: [00:23:09] better than doing them in the oven. I reckon.
Mason Lauder: [00:23:11] Yeah, that's it. Yeah, we do. We just do them in the oven on a tray.
Toni Lodge: [00:23:15] Oh, no fucking you've probably got a wood-fired pizza oven at your house.
Mason Lauder: [00:23:20] It's got, it's just got holes in the bottom of the tray. And then, so you end up cooking the bottom a little bit.
Toni Lodge: [00:23:25] Yeah, we have that. Um,
Mason Lauder: [00:23:28] but it's nothing like I imagine on a barbecue, it would
Toni Lodge: [00:23:31] be, and just like that pizza sign, how it makes it real, like,
Mason Lauder: [00:23:35] Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:23:39] See her, my pizza, I just like, it's delicious.
And it sounds amazing, but it's just so much work.
Mason Lauder: [00:23:48] I really, they actually take a, like a little bit of time to cook as well.
Toni Lodge: [00:23:51] Yeah. Well, so what's your go to, like, what do you do for basis?
Mason Lauder: [00:23:56] Uh, w w we just buy them from the supermarket? So like at the IGA near us, they've got like, nice, like Italian ones with the garlic on them.
And then we just. That's
Toni Lodge: [00:24:07] nice.
Mason Lauder: [00:24:08] Get some like tomato paste or like pasta sauce or whatever, and just put it on the base.
Toni Lodge: [00:24:13] Yeah. What
Mason Lauder: [00:24:14] about
Toni Lodge: [00:24:15] um, Oh, we, um, at the, at the Kohl's near us. There's like a DIY pizza section and they've yeah. And they've got like fresh dough and stuff, but I don't fuck with that. I'm already angry enough that I've got to like cut up all the shit that I'm not, I'm not gonna
Mason Lauder: [00:24:33] obviously roll it out, literally.
Toni Lodge: [00:24:35] Yeah. I'm not fucking with the dough. Um, but they've got like these, I think it's like a local like Melbourne brand and it's um, I think like, Gallery's paid us or Jerry's paid us or something. And they got like a pink mermaid on the front.
Mason Lauder: [00:24:51] Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.
Toni Lodge: [00:24:53] Do you know the ones? Yeah. So it's like a paid, but it's also a Suva kind of bread and luck.
You can use it for a P they've got that in the pizza section anyway. They're really, really good. Um, because they're not too thick, you know, when you get pizza bases and they're really like.
Mason Lauder: [00:25:10] I love that.
Toni Lodge: [00:25:11] Oh, that sound was interesting. Like a dog looking at itself. Keep going. Yep. That was too much. That was all time
Mason Lauder: [00:25:23] center.
Toni Lodge: [00:25:26] Hang on. Let me do it. I'll have some water and see if it's better.
Oh, that's disgusting. Sorry, everyone. Sorry, that was foul. I've never made that noise before. I don't know why. I felt like
Mason Lauder: [00:25:48] I love Dory pizza bases. They're my favorite. I hate thin ones.
Toni Lodge: [00:25:52] Art's nah, I like thin pizza.
Mason Lauder: [00:25:55] I love when it's doughy in the middle.
Toni Lodge: [00:25:58] The only, the only pizza that I will do doughy is a Hawaiian. My brother, his favorite pizza is Penn Hawaiian. So really, really thick doughy. Base and then like that plasticky, ham and pineapple on the top.
Um, I like, it's literally just shit garbage. I dunno. I dunno.
Mason Lauder: [00:26:21] It's not good.
Toni Lodge: [00:26:22] It's like when you get a kebab shop pizza. Like when you get pizza from a kebab shop and it's got like those FIC squares of ham. Well, it's not even like, it's like a Lego brick. It's like a thick like rectangle and it's got that on it.
And like, there's always the bits on the edge that have crossed it up. And you think I'm gonna like fucking Pierce your windpipe? Like you think that they're just going to like javelin throw your body.
Mason Lauder: [00:26:52] It's even, even like on the weekend and I've never seen it before. And look, I don't, I don't go out much for breakfast,
Toni Lodge: [00:26:57] but seek biking for breakfast. Yeah. Sick. Bacon's a thing. I don't like
Mason Lauder: [00:27:03] what's going on there. I thought it was another piece of bread.
Toni Lodge: [00:27:06] Do you like your bacon done or do you like your bacon soft?
Um,
Mason Lauder: [00:27:11] no, I like it. I like like a little bit crispy. Like I want it crispy, but I like thin bacon, like
Toni Lodge: [00:27:17] what's going on. I fine as well. Um, I don't like the thick bacon because you only get one piece, but you get one slab of bacon. It's like a ham steak.
Mason Lauder: [00:27:29] Yeah. Like I, I had no idea because I've never seen it before.
I didn't, I didn't know what it was. Cause I had salmon, like it was poached egg with salmon and bacon as well. Well, this is, I forgot. I didn't realize that it came with bacon.
Toni Lodge: [00:27:44] Oh, so you like, can I get salmon on the side?
Mason Lauder: [00:27:47] And, and then when they brought it up,
Toni Lodge: [00:27:52] did you have a hollandaise? Oh, fuck me up. I love days.
I.
Mason Lauder: [00:28:02] Then the bricky burger is amazing.
Toni Lodge: [00:28:03] Oh my God. That on literally anything I'd eat that on cereal. If I could.
Mason Lauder: [00:28:08] Yes, she does it though. And they don't put enough
Toni Lodge: [00:28:12] or like when you get it and it's really thin lack. It's not that real light thick whip hollandaise. Oh,
Mason Lauder: [00:28:19] if it's not a thousand calories in it, what are you doing?
Toni Lodge: [00:28:22] There's not a whole cow's worth of butter in this holiday sauce and fucking take it back. Um, there's this really trash. Breakfast place in Perth, more it's NWA, it's called dome. And it's like, it's a chain. It's like a chain of cafes. And anybody that's listening, that's been in WWI or is from WEA, is going to Latin and 20 minutes straight away.
And it is, it's pretty, it's, it's very standard. Like it's. And you could go to any dome and it would, you would get the exact same thing and it's, it's fucking good. And they do these things. They're called express skis and it's like a frozen, I know it's like a frozen drink with like a caramel koala on the top.
It's so fucking good. It's so good. Anyway. Um, and at dome you can, you can like ask for extra Holland. So they like put so, Oh, So their eggs Benedict is like smothered in hollandaise. And for like $2, you can get like a little, little tub of extra hollandaise. Our fuck. It's so good. And. It's just like you could, it's a regular cafe breakfast.
Like you could get the same thing anywhere. It's pretty expensive as well. It's not like cheap and cheerful or anything, but there's just something about dome that even I live in Melbourne, which is like the best capital in the world for coffee and breakfast. I like really miss the shit dome breakfast.
And whenever we go home and stay with my brother and sister-in-law. I'm always like, come on, please. You got a dime, like, so it's like, like it's crap, but it's so fucking good. And I really miss it. If anybody was thinking about going to dome, can you please tag me in a picture on Instagram because. Get a, get a gold rush express ski on me.
I'll send you the cash.
Mason Lauder: [00:30:10] Well, we've, we've actually grace and I have booked flights to go back to Perth. You can go to dime. We can go. We can go to dome. Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:30:18] Oh my God. Is it is grace right next to you?
Mason Lauder: [00:30:21] No, no, no, no. She's out at the moment.
Toni Lodge: [00:30:23] Oh, I was going to say, can you ask her about dime?
Mason Lauder: [00:30:25] Oh, I'll, I'll ask her about it.
Cause she, yeah. She'll know exactly
Toni Lodge: [00:30:29] what it is. Jenna froth. She's going to literally die because dime is so fucked. It's but it's so good. Oh God. Yeah. Well, you guys can go to dime. When are you going to go?
Mason Lauder: [00:30:40] Uh, we're going on the 10th of December and then I really, um, 10th of December and then. Yeah, just over Christmas and new year and then come back.
End of Jan.
Toni Lodge: [00:30:54] So, um, this'll be the first time you've met, like her mom and dad, the whole
Mason Lauder: [00:30:59] family or the friends, everything first time in Perth,
a little bit. I'm very, I'm so excited. Like just, yeah. Especially, cause I haven't like, it's going to be really weird for them. Like just ask going over and you seeing people hugging and just like completely normal. Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:31:19] You won't have to wear a mask.
Mason Lauder: [00:31:21] I know it's going to be so strange.
Toni Lodge: [00:31:22] Oh my God. That's literally the only reason I want to go on holidays so that summer and not wear a fucking mask.
That's really exciting.
Mason Lauder: [00:31:31] I know I can't wait. And apparently new year's real great in Perth as well.
Toni Lodge: [00:31:38] I mean, grace has obviously said that to you so that you will go. I think, I think this might be controversial, but I think that new year's is overrated everywhere. Like I think it's a really, God we're so sour aren't we?
Mason Lauder: [00:31:55] Um,
Toni Lodge: [00:31:56] it just, it does. Nothing for me, but I mean, I am not really someone that would ever go to like a club or anything. Anyway, I'd rather go to a pub or like have people over make fucking homemade pizza, like make a heap of espresso martinis and like Cola a night by 11. Like that fun of
Mason Lauder: [00:32:15] me too. Yeah. Ideal night being in bed before it hits me that
Toni Lodge: [00:32:20] I know.
And then, Oh, so my favorite part about new year's and I do it every year and it might be. I'm fucking hungry. It's like, I'll miss my favorite joke. He's making a lot. Oh, you haven't showered since last year
or I wake him up really, really early and I got, Oh, I like C U I K. You've been asleep since last year or even the morning. I'll go.
Oh, my God Sweeney. I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten since
I go, Oh God, I'm so stinky. You haven't showered. Since last year. I really need a way I haven't weighed since last year. And it's my favorite part of the whole thing. And that's when I ever bit people like, yeah, I love going out. Love going clubbing. I'm like, I love the jokes. They tell them the next day.
I feel that knees is overrated everywhere, but of course you'll have fun. It'll still be like a dope time.
Mason Lauder: [00:33:32] Type time do say that often.
Toni Lodge: [00:33:34] Uh, you could obviously tell that and that I regretted it straight away. Um, and thought, should I say let's cut that out, but now we have to leave at the same, pretty funny,
Mason Lauder: [00:33:48] surreal duck time,
Toni Lodge: [00:33:49] dark time.
That's a really dope time. Oh, everyone would be very excited to know that hashtag outdoor butter is really taking off online. We had a dairy company reach shout. They're going to send us some butter, very exciting stuff. You know, that stick. Oh my God. So keep plan Josie. It's cold. And the butter is fucking amazing.
Like touch me. It's so good. It was better than any sex I've ever had. Um, um, but it was $8. Oh, Oh, Oh, um, yeah, it was $8 for like a like little round of butter, but it was very, very good. It is very, I haven't gone through it obviously, but it's living outdoors at the moment, um, which is just, I'm absolutely loving.
Um, but I do need to invest in a butter dish.
Mason Lauder: [00:34:47] Mm. So what is it currently just on a plate? Is it just in it's wrapping on the bench?
Toni Lodge: [00:34:52] Yeah, it's just in it's rapping. Yeah. That's not good. Is it
Mason Lauder: [00:34:57] naturally put on a little plate?
Toni Lodge: [00:34:59] I can put a little plate. I can do that. I do my do my video. Just cut out.
Mason Lauder: [00:35:04] That's okay.
It's your backyard.
Toni Lodge: [00:35:09] Do you think about when we, when we record this podcast? Cause we're looking at each other that you feel a bit like wearing your nine and we've got like an MSN relationship.
Mason Lauder: [00:35:19] I missed him as him.
Toni Lodge: [00:35:20] Yeah. Like. Yeah, we could, you could, I am people and then like you can I just like, yeah. Don't you feel like it's kind of like that, that just like in a relationship that we've like never met in real life, we have met in real life, but like we've never met in love on the internet.
Mason Lauder: [00:35:39] I my, my fingers.
Toni Lodge: [00:35:41] No, it does.
Mason Lauder: [00:35:45] I used to, I used to spend, like, I would S I would say on Skype with someone for like six to eight hours.
Toni Lodge: [00:35:50] That is Lyme as far. Oh, did you ever do, um, Omegle when you're at school? Oh yeah. Like chat roulette. Jen, did you ever show your penis to girls on the internet?
Mason Lauder: [00:36:02] No. No, I haven't done that.
Toni Lodge: [00:36:04] You said no too quickly. I reckon you did.
Mason Lauder: [00:36:09] What have you.
Toni Lodge: [00:36:10] My pain is my famous Janie beam on the internet. Keep it very private.
Mason Lauder: [00:36:19] Was it, was it ever, was it ever a platform though without creeps on it?
Toni Lodge: [00:36:23] That's true. Yeah, that you'd be cycling through. You'd be like, Oh, that's an old guy wanking off. And then you just like cycle through.
Yeah. They did. That's what gave it its charm. I feel kind of like club penguin by that. Oh, the other week I was saying that I started playing animal crossing and it's so good. I really, really like it. Yeah. Um, but so my best friend, Aiden, she plays as well. And she was like, did you know that we can be friends on animal crossing?
You've just got to give me your code and blah, blah, blah. So you buy the game, right? So it's on switch. So you have to have the console, which is like, $400 or whatever. And then you buy the game, which is $80. And then I was like, yeah, we can be friends. I'm like playing this thing and I go to do it and to become friends with someone, you have to buy a membership and it's like X dollars a month after you've bought the fucking console and the fucking game, the biggest load of garbage you've ever heard.
Mason Lauder: [00:37:23] That's outrageous.
Toni Lodge: [00:37:25] You've bought the game. Like if it was an online game or something, Totally different, but not paying for the pleasure for the, for the privilege to play the game that I've already purchased pleasure to play the game, the Bari. Um, yeah, I just thought that was absolutely fact. I, it's not expensive.
It's like maybe like five a month, $5 a month or something. Yeah. Which isn't much, but it's the principle of paying for the game that you've purchased. Then you've got to play for the privilege to play online with your pals.
Penis.
I think that I want to do more Instagram stories.
Mason Lauder: [00:38:15] Oh yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:38:16] I feel like I want to talk on Instagram more. You know, like this morning, well, this afternoon, actually, when I was getting home from work, I walked into our garage garage garage and it smelled like yogurt. And I thought that's a funny thing to post on my Instagram story.
And then I thought, Oh no, I don't do that. But maybe I should be someone that does that.
Mason Lauder: [00:38:40] You could be that person for sure. So
Toni Lodge: [00:38:44] what do you reckon? I should say. Um, so like on these podcasts is the exact one, one trick Tony philosophy on Instagram. When I all of a sudden go, my Gary, Josh smelled like yogurt.
Do you think that I should just do that on my Instagram story?
Mason Lauder: [00:39:02] Absolutely.
Toni Lodge: [00:39:03] Do you think, do you think people would like that?
Mason Lauder: [00:39:05] Yeah, for sure.
Toni Lodge: [00:39:07] What if people aren't following me? Cause I think it's not a dope time as I would say.
Mason Lauder: [00:39:16] No, I reckon people would love it.
Toni Lodge: [00:39:17] Do you reckon?
Mason Lauder: [00:39:18] I think you should absolutely do it. You'd be so great at that. I mean, I was doing that Insta story that I put up on one trick, Tony asking for birthday messages. Yeah. The amount of takes at that took, I would say,
Toni Lodge: [00:39:35] I would just say to prep, so that story was blocked from me when it was up.
I couldn't see it. So I didn't know that people sending him messages, but obviously because I have access to the account afterwards, it was like in the archive I did, I did see. Um, and I didn't want to bring it up because you did a really good job. Um, you did a great job.
Mason Lauder: [00:39:56] Yeah, a lot of takes Erica. That would have been probably the 10th or 12th.
Toni Lodge: [00:40:02] I just went for a really long time. It was like four slides long,
Mason Lauder: [00:40:08] which could have been condensed into about 30, 20 seconds.
Toni Lodge: [00:40:13] Oh, I just watched it back and I was like, fuck, it just keeps going. The story just escapes going last week when we were talking about the birthday stuff though, and I mentioned that towards my fake producer boyfriend, that he posted a video home message and 31 takes, it, took him and he was like, I'm not good at this.
I was like, no, you did such a good job. No. It's so good. You should be an influence on
Mason Lauder: [00:40:42] 31.
Toni Lodge: [00:40:45] What? It took me like seven tries to get my driver's license.
Mason Lauder: [00:40:51] Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:40:53] Yeah, you fucking do. You're a loser. You're 21 now you're 21. Now Tobes is 31 and he doesn't have his license. So don't be like him. That's not okay.
That's not okay.
Mason Lauder: [00:41:05] Bring it up.
Toni Lodge: [00:41:07] I bring it up
literally, but it doesn't bother him. Like. It's not as if he's always like, Oh, I will not catch public transport. Tony, you have to drive me here. And they're like, he's not like that. Like if that, if I didn't have my license, I feel like I would just Uber everywhere, but he's happy to walk. He's happy to catch the train.
He's happy for me to fucking drive him. But if I'm not around, yeah. He'll just like, get on the tram or. Walk or whatever, like, it really doesn't phase him, but Oh, I just can't think of anything worse than not having the ability to be like, I need to go and do the shopping. So I'm going to go and do it like, or I want to go and see a friend and just being able to go rather than like getting an overall whatever it's like, I don't know.
I guess it's a real privileged thing. And I'm like lucky to have a car and some to pocket and all of that, but yeah, I just, it's just so convenient. Yeah. Like I just, yeah, I just can't imagine not having it, but, um, towards actually, this is really, really exciting. He finishes uni on Friday.
Mason Lauder: [00:42:16] Really?
Toni Lodge: [00:42:16] Yeah. Like literally this week, the, what is it?
The sixth, the 6th of November. It finishes. Um, yeah. I'm so excited. You should message him on Instagram. Um, what's his handle? He doesn't really use it. I think it's Toby and T R U B I L I N D. And message him a little congratulations on Friday though. Not before, because I to get the backed off. Cause he's really busy.
Mason Lauder: [00:42:49] What are you going to do for it?
Toni Lodge: [00:42:50] So I needed some water cause I'd been whispering and it uses all my saliva, um, jacket, that science, I use way more saliva when I whisper is that wrong? Do you reckon, you know, what's real
Mason Lauder: [00:43:06] cool.
Toni Lodge: [00:43:08] I've moved on from that. Do you know, you know, those pens that are called killer Machakos and they can write for a kilometer.
Mason Lauder: [00:43:14] Oh, really?
Toni Lodge: [00:43:14] That's why they're called that. Did you know that,
Mason Lauder: [00:43:18] is that
Toni Lodge: [00:43:18] bad or as in, in economy?
Mason Lauder: [00:43:24] No. As in like, do most pens run out after a kilometer of writing?
Toni Lodge: [00:43:29] I think that that's just their thing, but that's just their thing. Yeah. But I don't know if most pens would do more or less Google it.
Mason Lauder: [00:43:40] Yeah, well, I mean, I I've got it right here.
I've got a little stylist pen. It's actually called the spice pen and it works in space.
Toni Lodge: [00:43:51] What
Mason Lauder: [00:43:52] will cause most Penn state gravity to move the ink down to the end. So this one doesn't need gravity, so you can write underwater with it. You can, I mean, it's a bit hard to write underwater, but
Toni Lodge: [00:44:02] you can write, we don't have any paper that would, yeah, you can do it on your skin though.
Mason Lauder: [00:44:10] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Underwater. Yeah. Yeah. But
Toni Lodge: [00:44:12] I think most parents would work underwater on your skin.
Mason Lauder: [00:44:15] You reckon?
Toni Lodge: [00:44:18] Surely
Mason Lauder: [00:44:19] I dunno. Their selling point is it works in space
Toni Lodge: [00:44:21] and it's used no, I need to know. Okay. So obviously not like a fine liner because the black nib thing would get soaked in water, but like a normal lab ballpoint pen that would write on your skin underwater surely, surely.
Conclusive inconclusive. Okay. All right. I'm going to go and get a bucket and a pen. Wait here, wait here.
Mason Lauder: [00:45:04] It's pretty impressive to find a bucket and a pen in what like 30 seconds.
Oh, my God.
Toni Lodge: [00:45:21] She's lost it.
Mason Lauder: [00:45:23] Anyway, this spice pen, um, little birthday present and they reckon it works in extreme temperatures. Minus 30 degrees to 250 degrees Fahrenheit. That's annoying. At any angle, even upside down precision crafted hand, tested and carries an unconditional lifetime. Oh my gosh, she's got a purple bucket and a pen.
Here we go.
Toni Lodge: [00:45:56] Okay.
Mason Lauder: [00:45:57] I was just writing out the, um, the features of this space pen.
Toni Lodge: [00:46:01] Oh my God. That sounds fucking boring. I'm glad I wasn't here for that. Okay. So it's not really puffed. Okay. So I've got a bowl put like a normal lap beak ball point pen and a bucket of water. So you can say there's no writing on your hand.
What's hot.
Mason Lauder: [00:46:23] What'd you get hot water
to work?
Toni Lodge: [00:46:31] It didn't work
Mason Lauder: [00:46:33] really well. It would be great. If you could try this pit.
Toni Lodge: [00:46:37] Should you get a bucket of water and a pen?
Mason Lauder: [00:46:39] You get a bucket,
Toni Lodge: [00:46:40] but you have to get a normal pen and also the space pen.
Mason Lauder: [00:46:43] Okay. That's a good idea. Okay. I love that waitress. He tried it with you. Oh yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:46:49] Hang on. Maybe the pen wasn't working
Mason Lauder: [00:46:51] or is it, does it just not work because it was, it was wet.
What if you try the pen?
Toni Lodge: [00:46:57] Okay. It's come. It's come out a little bit, but you couldn't write someone's phone number down and know what it was.
Mason Lauder: [00:47:05] Sure. Do you want me to try it? Yes.
Toni Lodge: [00:47:07] Okay. All right. What should I talk about? Don't
Mason Lauder: [00:47:11] you figure it out?
Toni Lodge: [00:47:12] Oh God. Oh, I haven't been here on my own since the first two episodes.
Oh, well, my hands are wet, so I don't know what I'm going to do. Um, Oh. Oh, well, I was gonna say. I was going to tell a story about this registered post that I got the other day, which I thought was really exciting. I thought that may be like, A dead old uncle had died or so I did hold on. Good. Died like a random relative that I'd never met, had died.
And it was like a check full of cash. Chick-fil-A gosh, I really need pace in here. Um, and I got this registered post, right. And I just got so excited, but actually I opened it and it was from the government. I know. The government, and it said data privacy incident, I'm writing to advise that your personal information was exposed, exposed in a cybersecurity attack on the new South Wales service, new South Wales technology network.
We're very sorry. This has happened. And we want to assist in resolving any issues. And there's like this, all these pages of stuff about how my bloody. Information has been leaked and that's not very interesting is it? But I say that and then I'll follow that up with another story that I ages ago, literally like last year or the year before, fuck, there is water everywhere.
Um, that my like bank account got hacked, which is like, sounds crazy. But, um, I checked my bank account and all this money was gone literally like 500, $600. And it was from all these places called like shoes.com and subway in Brazil. And I had to get all the money back. So it's not the first time that my dad has been breached online.
Um,
Mason Lauder: [00:49:04] yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:49:05] Well, I was just saying. I don't need to rehash that terribly boring story for everybody else. But I got this registered post and it was from service new South Wales saying that my data had been leaked in a cybersecurity attack. Oh fuck. Even you're normally really good at faking that. So. That story is really fucking boring.
You can cut that out.
Mason Lauder: [00:49:29] Okay, great. Well, I saw I've written the, if you can see, I'm just holding a piece of paper up to Tony, there's a blue marker and a black marker and the black is the waterproof one, the blues they're not waterproof. And so they work. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to put the blue one in first, and this is the not waterproof
Toni Lodge: [00:49:47] now.
So you got to try and write on the water. That's what I did.
Mason Lauder: [00:49:51] Yes. So I'm going to put my hand in,
Toni Lodge: [00:49:52] put your hand in
Mason Lauder: [00:49:53] submerged in the water, and then I'm going to, okay. Okay. Hang on.
Toni Lodge: [00:49:57] Okay.
Mason Lauder: [00:49:57] I'm going to stand up for this scientist.
Toni Lodge: [00:49:59] It's like dr. Carl,
Mason Lauder: [00:50:01] we should do more experiments on the shoebox.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:05] Can we make a volcano?
Mason Lauder: [00:50:07] Oh my God. Yeah, for sure. Here we go. Is this, can you sort of see, okay.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:11] Yeah, I didn't move my camera.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:15] So I'm putting my hand in. Okay.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:18] Okay. Okay. So this is the normal beak pen and it hasn't worked.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:23] It hasn't worked. There's like rubs off. Like it's not, it hasn't done anything. Okay. Slightly annoying. All right.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:32] Oh my God. I'm so fucking excited.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:34] Is the space, this
Toni Lodge: [00:50:35] space pen
Mason Lauder: [00:50:37] down the water underwater. Oh my gosh.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:41] No fucking way.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:45] It's done it. You could absolutely write a phone number.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:49] Oh my God. Right. A fine number. Okay. All right. Right mine. Oh four. Okay. Oh four,
Mason Lauder: [00:50:55] hang on. It's very hard. Oh. Four. Oh, eight
Toni Lodge: [00:51:01] one zero zero
Mason Lauder: [00:51:03] one zero
Toni Lodge: [00:51:05] zero.
Oh, hang on. Changed the last bit. Seven to six,
Mason Lauder: [00:51:13] seven two. Oh my God. We're getting on the knuckles now.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:17] Oh, sorry. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty legible. I can't fucking believe
Mason Lauder: [00:51:25] that. Waterproof. Good.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:30] Yeah. I mean, next time we do an experiment, obviously we should think about it more in advance.
Mason Lauder: [00:51:37] Yeah. Yeah. I agree.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:39] Yeah. Um, but no, I thought that was great. That was very informative as well. I thought that a pen would ride underwater.
Mason Lauder: [00:51:48] Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:49] It's pretty
Mason Lauder: [00:51:49] crazy.
What was that? Sorry.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:55] Finally, we could test it in space.
Mason Lauder: [00:51:57] Yeah, that would be fun.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:58] Wouldn't it? Family's rich. Could
Mason Lauder: [00:52:01] private flight up. It would be nice. Wouldn't it?
Toni Lodge: [00:52:03] Um, did you get that for your birthday?
Mason Lauder: [00:52:05] I did. Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:52:06] What a cute lime gift?
Mason Lauder: [00:52:08] No, it was actually, it was actually from, from crisis mom, which is lovely.
Toni Lodge: [00:52:13] That is a good gift.
Mason Lauder: [00:52:14] Um, actually we can do this, so I've, I've also ordered. These, um, notebooks that are made of stone paper.
Toni Lodge: [00:52:24] Oh, you bought one of these for the podcast. One of the podcasts collaborators.
Mason Lauder: [00:52:29] Yes. Yep. And so it's
Toni Lodge: [00:52:31] $500.
Mason Lauder: [00:52:34] They are, they're quite expensive. They're like, they're like 40 bucks per book, which is outrageous.
But so, but I thought with a spa, if I'm using a space pen, I want to. Nice book to write in and has this and this. We can definitely test this on the show, but the book, the Piper is waterproof.
Toni Lodge: [00:52:55] Well, I'll keep my bucket out and then we'll know that we've got some water handy.
Mason Lauder: [00:53:01] Sorry. It's so you can write underwater in the book
Toni Lodge: [00:53:05] with that fuck off.
I am so excited. Stay tuned. Dick heads. We're going to ride on the water.
Mason Lauder: [00:53:13] How cool is that? So I'll rip a page out and then we can write underwater with the pen and the paper.
Toni Lodge: [00:53:21] Do you need me to pay you back for the page you rip out? Like, yeah.
Mason Lauder: [00:53:26] It's about a dollar per page.
Toni Lodge: [00:53:30] Do you know what makes me anxious?
I wonder if this is just anxiety people, but is that like, you know, when you buy a really, really nice book and you don't want to ruin it yes. So you like buy really, really nice book that you can either use, like as a journal or as a diary or whatever. And then you're like, I can't use it because it's too nice.
So you end up buying like really shitty, fucking, like I've literally got them sitting here because I do it all the time or no.
Mason Lauder: [00:53:58] Did all the paper come out
Toni Lodge: [00:54:00] like shitty like exercise books like this because I buy nice leather bound ones like this, and then I don't want to use that.
Mason Lauder: [00:54:08] It's so bad. Isn't it
Toni Lodge: [00:54:12] live your fucking life.
If you buy ice book. It's meant to be written in.
Mason Lauder: [00:54:17] Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:54:18] Oh my God. See, we were so depressed earlier and now we feel great. Do you know what else we could do? Make slime to kids still like slime?
Mason Lauder: [00:54:30] I think so. Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:54:31] My niece is super into slime. I'll ask her if she's still into it. She just turned 10. So she'd be like full bottle on what's called.
Yeah. Maybe she says have a dope time. I mean, she probably
Mason Lauder: [00:54:46] should know what's dope.
Toni Lodge: [00:54:47] Shit.
She's like toddy, slimes, not cool. Diamonds, not call saying dope. Stop call. Oh, she's like science experiments. So five minutes ago saying so five minutes ago. So five minutes ago, we didn't get to the Scattergories game. I just started talking about, Oh, literally I feel really bad because the story I told about the registered post, while you were getting that back at a water, that's not good luck.
When you listened back to this cider to poster, you're going to be like Tony Louise lodge. What were you fucking thinking? Why did you think people would like that story?
Mason Lauder: [00:55:34] Well, Alicia, didn't read out. But the pen works temperatures from minus 30 to 250 degrees and the water,
Toni Lodge: [00:55:41] he sang it again. He sang it again.
Oh, maybe you, should we cut out the terrible and just put in that SpongeBob voice, like three hours later,
Mason Lauder: [00:55:55] or I, you know what we could do, we get, put your whole, remember you sung the whole music. We can put that in.
Toni Lodge: [00:56:00] Let's put that in. Yeah, maybe,
Oh God, what absolute garbage people are like, fuck, this podcast is getting worse every week. God. How have they gotten to number 14?
Well, I actually know, you know what? I feel good because. I think I'm going to stop talking on my Instagram stories. Right. That's yeah. And now I know that if I ever need to ask for a hot dolphins phone number, it's not going to fucking work. It's not gonna work. Um, and I also learnt that, um,
Mason Lauder: [00:56:48] The Bay, Poland,
Toni Lodge: [00:56:50] the Bay pawn. Oh, also, yeah. Then, um, pomegranates, they don't all have the same amount of seeds.
Mason Lauder: [00:56:59] The uric is not the tallest building in Melbourne,
Toni Lodge: [00:57:01] oldest, building in Melbourne. Um, and people are very quickly learning that this is not the best podcast. Um, but segway how's this, some people think it is.
So I'm going to read some reviews. That was nice. Wasn't
Mason Lauder: [00:57:15] it?
Toni Lodge: [00:57:16] I feel so bad for all the people who I can't send stuff to because they're not in Australia. I feel really bad, but like, I'm so sorry. Sometimes these things just happen. Okay. Nice to know that you've got some reviews ready this week, last week there when our reviews.
Okay. Oh, see it. Then I've been like a sad, which all episode and people write really nice stuff. These are literally, I'm about, don't tell anyone, but I'm about two to three weeks. Like behind on sending. Oh, wow. Yeah. So
Mason Lauder: [00:57:59] it's posts shipping delays.
Toni Lodge: [00:58:01] It's it's the COVID as, um, slowed me down. Um, but they're on their way.
They're coming to me.
They might not be coming. They are coming though. It'll just take me a little minute. I've got them all sitting here. I've got all the, so you can hear them. I've got the miles bars. Can you hear this? This is the stamps. That's the sand. Here's the post bags. That's bubble wrap. Yep. Like I've got it's all here.
I just have to do it.
Mason Lauder: [00:58:38] Yeah. Are we doing them? Doing them in big goes is a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. See, that's what I
Toni Lodge: [00:58:45] see. That's what I thought as well. I was like that way. I'll do them all, but I'm losing track. Yeah. Well, no, I'm not. That sounds like I've lost people. Shit. I haven't. I've got the screenshots are all saved in a folder on my phone.
They are there are, I know where they all up. I know what they are. Okay. Anyway. Oh, but also, I mean, I feel like I'm getting ripped off because I'm putting all this effort into reading all these reviews. It's so hard for me and sending out these mass bars and there's only like three people have shared them on Instagram stories and I've definitely sent more than three.
I am really excited about the day that the. The mass bar gets to England.
Mason Lauder: [00:59:33] Uh, yes.
Toni Lodge: [00:59:34] Yeah. Um, Oh, I can't remember
Mason Lauder: [00:59:36] how to get tracking on it. Did you?
Toni Lodge: [00:59:38] I can't remember. It was all such a blur and expensive blur.
Mason Lauder: [00:59:43] $48.
Toni Lodge: [00:59:45] I feel like whoever I sent that to though, doesn't listen anymore. Because she never messaged me and said like, Oh my God, that was me, which I would do.
You know what I mean? Like if I heard someone tell you about it and they were like, fuck, it was like $30. Like how funny is that? Then you'd message. And be like, Oh my God, bitch. I'm so sorry. I didn't do that anyway. Okay. A review now, Erica, Sando one zero, zero seven. I love Tony. Oh, I love you too, Erica. I honestly wish I was friends with Chinese.
She's so funny and relatable. Oh, absolutely. Love this party and look forward to it every week. Always has me laughing. Oh, even a Payson's cooking tips.
Mason Lauder: [01:00:25] That's
Toni Lodge: [01:00:25] nice. Isn't it? That is nice. She's left you a little something in there as well. Review number two, the official J to the K I'm absolutely loving Chinese podcast.
I've laughed. I have laughed. I have cried. Oh, it's what gets me through my week. Oh, it's not your normal podcast, but ha Oh. But it has everything you want in a podcast, or if I need to stop saying it's funny, it covers the extremely important topics in life. Like finding the best carpark to talking about fish obsessions.
If I could rate it higher, I would, but five stars is all I can do. Love you working. Keep it up. Ah, thank you. The official J to the K that's very sweet. All ravine. I'm a straight, this is a friend of mine. I know, I know the handle that they've used. Adam, read the perfect podcast to drink a Brown smock, a chill to just outside on a bench, trying not to shoot flavored meat milk out of your nose from random attacks of laughter.
That's very sweet. I will not be sending you amass part though, because we friends. Um, not that if you are my friend that you shouldn't review it. I'm not going to send you something, actually, no, I will. I will. I will send Adam underscore read something. Um, I feel like it's been a bit of a roller coaster, but let me say this.
I say that at the end of every episode, maybe that's just my thing. Yeah. Do you feel like it's weird? We haven't gone viral yet.
Mason Lauder: [01:02:03] Maybe. Maybe the writing underwater is what's going to do it for us.
Toni Lodge: [01:02:08] There'll be a daily mail article.
Mason Lauder: [01:02:10] Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [01:02:12] Oh, we should send that out. Send that to PR who's our PR person. We'll send that to them.
They can send it out. And that will they'll put us on the daily mails and then lad Bible. Yes.
Mason Lauder: [01:02:25] And then on Facebook.
Toni Lodge: [01:02:26] Yeah, we'll go viral on Facebook. Wouldn't that be good? I literally cry. Imagine that if we woke up one morning and the podcast had Amelia, Oh my God. I hope it doesn't go viral from this episode though.
Cause I feel like it's not very cool. Should we not post this? We don't have any time to record another one. Just say that we've gone on hot hiatus for this week, literally in the first minute of the podcast. I've fucked it. So
Mason Lauder: [01:02:59] that's good. It's good.
Toni Lodge: [01:03:01] Oh, okay. Well, let's go home. Let's see. I think everyone's had enough of us.
We did a lot today. I liked the science experiment.
Mason Lauder: [01:03:11] That was fun. Wasn't it? That was good.
Toni Lodge: [01:03:13] Yeah. A bit of, a bit of fun, fun,
Mason Lauder: [01:03:15] fun,
Toni Lodge: [01:03:18] and dancing for anyone, which is everyone. Woo. Woo. Woo. Mm, mm, mm. Mm. Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm. Okay. Um,
can send one trick, tiny pay. I box 400. Ah, that's the good. Three one, two seven,
Mason Lauder: [01:03:50] six, seven,
Toni Lodge: [01:03:51] three seven. You can email us. One trick tiny. No. Hello. At one check, tiny.com on a at one trick tiny show on Instagram at tiny lodge on Instagram. You'll only an Instagram a way what's not beautiful. That's beautiful.
Mason Lauder: [01:04:21] I think you said Instagram was Tony Lee. One trick tony.com.
Toni Lodge: [01:04:26] But that's okay. One, two tiny show.
Mason Lauder: [01:04:29] Uh, you said it's okay.
Toni Lodge: [01:04:31] Oh, I thought I said at one trick
Mason Lauder: [01:04:33] tie, then you said you can email us. Yeah. You said email us once your Chinese showed up. Com
Toni Lodge: [01:04:40] fuck. Ah, say the song doesn't work,
Mason Lauder: [01:04:43] but you did, but you already, I think there was the second time you said you can email us.
I think you said it twice.
Toni Lodge: [01:04:48] Okay, well, just in case you can email us. Hello. At one trick, tony.com. You can Instagram us at one trick. Tony show. You can Instagram me at Tony lodge and this is way more boring, but apparently it's way more effective for passing on information. Patient doesn't want us to have any fun, so I'm not allowed to sing the information at the end.
Oh. Anyway. Okay. Well, this has been a great time. I've absolutely loved it. Thank you for listening. Um, and yeah, if you write a review, leave a review on Facebook or, um,
Mason Lauder: [01:05:29] Apple podcast,
Toni Lodge: [01:05:30] Apple podcast. Oh, I said, I heart radio, but you can't write on there. Um, which is so silly. Um, then please do, and I might read out your review.
Um, thank you so much for listening and we will see you next week. Love you. See ya. See ya. Bye.