- September 24, 2020
Toni chats about your ideas for the One Trick Toni board game, making Bruschetta, when you should start to feel like an adult, and our new Apple Podcasts review game.
On today’s show:
- Your ideas for the One Trick Toni board game
- Making Bruschetta
- Growing up and feeling like an adult
- An Apple Podcasts review game
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY.
Hello, welcome to episode eight of my podcast one trick Tony, a podcast where you can stop thinking about your own problems and think about mine instead. Episode I, wow, I don't want to start every podcast with me going, Wow. But honestly, wow, I'm pacing my pa is here with me. Hi, hi. And a few episodes back, we decided we weren't going to start every episode with asking each other how we are because it's so fucking boring. And it makes people think that like, Oh, we've just jumped on. And we've just started recording when it's actually it couldn't be further from the truth. We just have been talking for 20 minutes because I plugged my phone into the computer and it started updating. And we were all very stressed that I wasn't going to be able to record right now because my phone would shut down and it would be like a whole thing. And I feel like pacing, you deserve more credit for having to talk to me before we actually start recording because literally every single week I have some sort of technical like, just then it was actually 20 minutes of first of all my phone not plugging in, and then not being able to get the chat frame frame off zoom because obviously we are being very responsible. And we're recording this remotely. Yeah, I couldn't get the chat thing off the zoom. I didn't know how to record on zoom. And even though this is our eight week, and I also didn't know how to do something else. I mean,
we got we got here. So we did. It's okay,
we did. But I feel like you deserve more credit for walking me through all the shit that you have to deal with beforehand when I can't get anything working. Because you know, my strengths just line up areas. Yeah, I'm good at things that aren't soon. And I think that that's okay, because until this year, no one knew how to use zoom.
Yeah, that's Yeah, exactly. Well, how many people like Microsoft Teams like it's so many different things that you get to learn?
Yeah, and no one knew how to use that shit before this year because we all just did things in the same room. Remember doing things in the same room? I barely. Remember, I actually, I actually don't remember what it's like doing things with people. Over the weekend, we had like, really nice weather here in Melbourne, and tubes. And I we went for a walk and we like setting the park and had some cheese and crackers. And because you're allowed to do that now. And I was just like, I actually can't imagine going to a pub or restaurant or like, anywhere. I just can't imagine I just actually like don't remember what that was like.
I mean, we we did the same thing. Like we we went out we had a picnic went to the park. But the funny thing was we we went and sat on a park bench. Which it turns out there was a sign that was flipped underneath that said Oh, don't Yeah, we put it right down and everything. So it's
well, um, but it's hard like I do, but I actually just don't remember what any of that shit is like, because it just feels like it's been so long. And here in Melbourne, obviously, it's just like yours and took a lot out again, that's fine. It's all fine, real wearing mask. It's okay. But just feel so far away anyway, because we're not in the same room together. I don't know how to use zoom. I don't know how to do anything. And you deserve more credit because you always do all the zooming things beforehand. So thank you. But like I was saying a couple of podcasts back, we decided that we weren't gonna start the podcast off by asking each other how we are because it's a lie. It's a disgusting, horrible lie. And for two weeks in a row, I have tried to come up with a game involving the scattegories dos, and I'll explain it again. It's a 20 sided die with 20 different letters on it from the game scattegories, which is an amazing game if you haven't played it. And we went through the first time we tried to do a game. And it was that you had to tell us a truth about yourself based on the letter that we rolled, which I didn't explain very well and was just terrible game. And then last week, we said that we were going to do like a word association game and that hasn't worked.
That's been the best one yet to be honest,
and that was still pretty bad. So Just I was I was ready to write this off. And I was like, put the scattergories dice back in the box, we're not going to do this anymore. And then we got a message to the one trick pony Instagram page, which is at one trick pony show, and you can message us anytime. And Hannah messaged through that we could do a word association speed, round, speed round, use the dice, whoever rolls has to name five things, starting with that letter. And then the other person goes, and the person that wins is the person that says five things fastest. So if I rolled a J, then it would be like, I'd have to count with five things that start with J in 10 seconds. And if you pace and if you can do that faster than I can do it with a different letter, then you win, but said, Do you know what I think it is? I'm just not that good at explaining guides.
I think I think it's great. So it's essentially, you're you're rolling the dice.
And whatever letter it lands on, it's a word association game. Yeah. But you're answering it yourself. And you're trying to think of five words and it's with the same letter and save them as quickly as possible. And how does the fastest wins?
All right, so would you like to go first? This is I'm just saying this right now. This is the last chance. If this game doesn't go, Well, this scattergories dos is being set on fire and thrown into the Yarra. Okay, not littering, but just like, you know, for symbolism. Okay. Okay, would you like to go first? Yeah, I'll go first. Okay. Do you have a timer? Okay, hang on. Let me look at my phone, obviously, the debacle with the update and everything. I can't access my phone.
Okay, hang on. All right. Let me actually get up on my phone. Here we go. Okay,
because it's 2020. And I don't know how to use a time on my I don't know how to plug my phone in. And, you know, girls don't watch here we go. Okay, you ready? Okay, so I'm going to Oh my God, I've just sent an email to someone.
How do I do that? What do
you mean? Just just then?
Yeah, I just emailed someone. Oh, God. Boss. Oh. Okay. I've got the dice. So I'm gonna roll it. I'm gonna say the letter. You hit go. And we've got. You've got to come up with five things. Anything? No thing? Okay. Okay, ready? I'm rolling. Okay. f
Oh, my God. Hang on a Ferrari Ford. Football.
Okay. Oh my god. not technically words. They are brands. That what was the time so the time
is 16 second.
Okay, I'm gonna fuckin wipe the floor with you.
There's no way I'm doing worse than that. Okay, ready?
ahead. Now what do you know? Now I was just gonna say that. Doing the timer as well. I reckon that puts me at a disadvantage to be honest. Do your time your time.
Okay. But to be fair, you said two things. And then it was 40 years we said anything else I did that you can play. Shut up. You have to do that.
Okay, on hand. Let me reset. Okay, here we go.
Okay, so when I say the letter hit go and I'll come up with them. Okay. I, apple, Bach, and omegas australind. Antarctica. Oh,
well, you knocked about 10 seconds off my time. You got six seconds.
Yeah. See, I told Jay australind is a place in wi Antarctica obviously is that large us land. And I
get done for doing brands? Well,
mine the places that's why I mean, they're both nouns.
That's I mean, you win either way.
You know, I did what you say you might not look really hot. Oh, that game. It kind of gets you sharp, doesn't it? It kind of like sharpens you up for the podcast. That was I think that's a great suggestion. Hannah. That was great. Thank you, Hannah. Do Should we keep the game? I roll?
No, I think it's a great game.
Okay, great. Well,
we've got to come up with a name, but that can wait till another time. But I think that that game is good. I think it sharpens us up at the beginning. Because my alternative was that we talk about with a chat. Like that way. Come on, right. This is this is my alternative to doing the scattegories dos game that I would come on and go Hey, person. Hey, going in you go. I'm great. Thanks, Tony. We've got a high of 23 in Melbourne today. And for the rest of the week, it's like looking sunny. That was my other idea. And I feel like we should keep that in the back pocket because you never know when we like want to change things up. So I reckon we keep the weather as a safety. Save it Yeah, for sure. Maybe what if one day I go travelling? And I forget the scattegories? dos?
Yeah. And I mean, this probably Jenner I don't. And we don't have internet to use a generator. Oh,
yeah, there's no internet. I'm, I'm travelling because the world is back to normal. And there's no way that I can stop. And in that case, I guess we could just go like, oh, x. Not that you'd pick x, because it's the worst letter. Um, I think that that game went pretty well.
Okay, great icebreaker. And, you know, well, how long did that take? How long did that get? Obviously, there was a bit of riffraff in the beginning. Look, that's about 10 minutes. I reckon we could get that down to it to a top five.
Yep. And so long as mine doesn't take, you know, a minute to figure out my letters.
I mean, obviously, that is an issue. And if you can't get your shit together, then I will be finding another peer. But you know, the risks coming into a high octane work environment such as this, you know, the risks associated with slowness
for sure. high octane environment.
it pass. I was like, Oh, I thought that was pretty funny. But there you go. The people at home can decide the people at home, like run a game show, categories dies. Well, also, we've got to get this out of the way, because it did not go as well as I thought it would to be honest. But last week, we did discuss a one trick pony board game, which I thought was just the most fun. And again, I'm not very good at explaining things. And we did get some great suggestions. But a lot of the things, a lot of the messages that we got were like rules to monopoly, like, Tony, versions of monopoly, which is great, but obviously, we can't just remake monopoly.
We don't want to get sued.
Though, there was a very good suggestion. You gave a bad cooking tip. Like, spices, which I loved. Because obviously, a couple of episodes ago, you gave a cooking tip when most people might not have even noticed it because it was just so subtle, and it just blended into the episode perfectly. But you will notice you'll be like, I haven't had that sense. Of course you haven't. Because the worst thing that I've done in all eight episodes, I'd say that maybe we
a week being here. I brought one today. Is that is that a night? No, no, we've been here
now. I couldn't do the cooking to do it now.
Okay. Well, I mean, so we dad's birthday last night, we may
we made pasta by hand.
And also is
Yep. And also pesto, homemade pesto. But anyway, the little the little cooking tip. Yeah, is when you're doing the pasta, you've you've sort of strained it. Make sure you keep a little bit of that water leftover. Maybe about a cup. Yeah. And pour about half the cup in to your
six year sauce. Your throw sticks to pasta.
Yeah, and it makes it more creamy. Yeah. Oh,
okay. Great. That's a good tip. I guess I would consider that a good tip
because I do that when I cook. What makes it more creamy and it's it's good. Dinner was good. Oh, yeah.
Great. Do you have a pasta? mica?
Yeah, we do. It's an old one. Like it's
just families so Bhushan rich. I'm so jealous. It's so late. Oh my god. Okay, so everybody else that isn't Mason. Patience. That's not you know, the other day, I sent paste in a gift. And he sent me a photo. And it was in the middle of this lavish lounge room that had big bay window doors that opened up into the back of the ranch that he lives on. And I thought, oh my lord, am I in the presence of a Kardashian? And I couldn't believe it such a lavish home. And then the other day, I was talking to someone else that you work with one of the podcast collaborators. And I was saying about yet how you got this side beautiful boogy family because your girlfriend was driving your mom's car. And I said, Oh, what is it a Kia carnival. And they were like, no, it's probably like a Mercedes or a Tesla or something. Which I thought was very funny. So I wish I mean, you know, I'm sitting here, just just an average girl. And you know you're sitting in your beautiful lavish home with a shitty fucking cooking tips. Just kidding. We actually pause the game chat with last slide. Oh, because we're adults and we get to pick whatever we want to eat. tobes and I last night we ate bruschetta for dinner. Bruce go. Oh, yeah, like don't say I'm not gonna. I can't I don't know how to do the accent. I'm just Kind of bastardised the language instead. Yet we literally Oh my god, it was so fucking good. And oh, I've got a cooking tip. Oh, here we go great. Um, so yeah, it's very good. So my friend Jane, she is a really really good cook and she's actually got a little she's got a little lot cooking Instagram.
Um tiny cooking confidential, I think is what it's called. I think that's what it's called. Are you looking up on Instagram looking
at up, calm, tiny kitchen confidential,
tiny kitchen confidential and she posts like she's got like this tiny tiny kitchen in South Melbourne. She could post things like little tips on zero waste and how to utilise a tiny kitchen anyway. And she cooks heaps of shit and she dropped around a jar of chilli oil that she made
And oh, it's so good. We use it with dumplings on the weekend. But last night we made Bruce and I cut the bread and I brushed on the chilli oil
what was a hot
Yeah, it was delicious. It was so good. I brushed on the chilli oil put that onto the grill for a bit and then put on my little lap Meeks and I never cooked so this is quite impressive for me put on the little mix and then the boats gonna mix and then like put a bit of Parma john Nora Jana on the top and then put that under the grill to like warm it through and like crisp up like all the beats and like you know get the get the basil going and oh my god, it was so good. Yum was so good. And it's really like it's like an onion because obviously that raw red onion. And I'm just like every time I like tight you know any like salon you like taste your own mouth. Oh, yeah.
Because we have reflux just
yeah, and you like taste the taste? Well, I had it for lunch also, which was only a couple of hours ago. And I've just got like Berisha taste in my mouth. Like I actually can't get it out. And you know, when you've eaten something like if you've had like a curry, like you've been you cook a card from scratch and your hands, like smell real spicy from cooking, or like you ate something that's like, quite potent, and you can just taste it. And so like your breath is bad, but you can just taste it. And you know, you're gonna be with people. And you're like, oh, sorry, I feel a bit like that. Like we can see each other and I'm like, oh, sorry, my brush shadow mouth, mostly on the mouth. And I'm like, Oh my god, you can swap them out. But you can't because you're so far away. But it's just like, Oh, yeah, human response. You know what I mean? It's like, if you say, Oh, you know what I did? The other day, I tried to zoom in on a book. And I hate you. And you finally like doubletap something. I was like reading something. And I was like, oh, what an idiot. It's just like, a dusting sign of the next generation.
Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, at least you didn't go and tap and hold on a word trying to get the definition. Well, we you know, when you're reading like an apple, you can you can if you're reading a book or something on Apple, iPads or whatever, yeah, you can tap and hold the word, and it'll bring up the definition of it. Fuck off.
Are you serious? Yeah, hang on. I'm gonna go and get my iPad and see if it's real live. Okay, okay, pause. Okay, girl. Hi. give anyone any cooking tips love
It works on the Kindle surely it'll work on the apple books. You think?
my iPad suck giving cooking tips
give me any cooking tips while I was gone just a couple Okay, so I've got my my books app is open. Okay, great. Okay, I'm double tapping on something. Oh, look up.
Have you never seen this functionality before?
Oh, my God.
That is amazing. Oh my god. Let's pick a word that I don't know the name the meaning of okay. This is quite hard because I'm actually quite smart. Concrete it's not letting me tap on No, I will never know what the word concrete means. Oh, hang on. I got it. I got it. I got it. Oh solid. Oh definite. Oh,
How crazy is that?
Oh my god. And this is so cool. It gives it to you in whatever language keyboards you've got on set on your iPad or iPhone. So because I have a Japanese Yeah, I have a Japanese keyboard on my phone because I tried to learn quiet, like intently, like for quite a long time that really tried to learn. And so it comes up. Oh, I can't say in Japanese. I can't say oh my god, that's amazing.
The guy. I mean, I just I just assumed it would do that just because like on the Kindle, it does it as well.
Of course, you've got a Kindle. Oh my god.
What's Kindle? Is it great? Because I mean a up up digital reader.
I do actually have lots of books on my iPad. Yeah.
Or whatever you do. You're a normal physical book person, which
I love real books. But when we say because I know that I've touched on it in the podcast a little while ago. And when I started working radio tubes, and I moved around so much like we've moved four times now for my job is nice. Wait. So we've moved so much for work that at one point in our moves, all of our books ended up at towards his mom's house and she's still got them because we will like and to get them shipped over would cost a fortune from wha to Melbourne. I don't even Can you
do that buying them again.
But like, you know how books like that have that smell and they have like, sentimental value. Like I've got books like that mum bought me and like and books that I bought, like overseas and, and I love actual books. Like I love sitting there and reading a book but that it's the space. It's literally just that they take up so much space, and tobs reads so much like a book every two days.
Yeah. Like he just smashes books out, smashes books out, demolish his books. He just destroys books. He just obliviated books. He just
give me one second. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah.
Sounds a bit sexy. He just demolishes books.
Here we got demolish synonym. We got them got that
in the name. synonym.
bulldozers. annihilates obliterate my lights.
Okay, ready? He just annihilates books. He just annihilates box dismantles? He just dismantles box, etc.
It doesn't really doesn't work.
Anyway, pulverises that's a curveball. He just paused for us. That's hot. I think I'm gonna stop reading like clearly on like audiobook.
You could definitely via audiobooks.
Absolutely. God, do you think I could? That would be so much fun. You could I would love that. Imagine that. She took him by the hand and let him into the barn. The animals knew that they wouldn't be sleeping tonight. I just made that up.
Author as well.
I'm also discussing my family. Listen to this. Please don't judge me. That sort of book that I've read. I don't know. I just made that up. I just thought that was disgusting. Oh, it's like last week. We talked. You asked me some question about a 16. I said I didn't talk about six stuff. And people I had a few people messaging me like Oh, what? My sister my brother. Listen, I am barisic Now she was talking about it literally makes me read. I actually just can't do it. Even with friends. I just can't do it. Even with myself. I can't even think about it because it is a lot. It's a lot. It's I feel like Oh, God, I actually
too many people involved like it's just you got to like it's
Yeah, I'm just so read now. And I can't I just can't do it. I'm such a prude about myself. Like other people talking about themselves. Oh, good luck. I'm totally fine. And I'm like quite a crass person. Like I'm pretty dirty. But I just I live I just got to it. Like it just makes me so uncomfortable. And like I still Now if I go to the shops and buy any sanitary item, or if I buy bras or undies, I like hide them in my shopping because I'm like, so embarrassed. I know. I'm just gonna, like, not embarrassed. I'm just like, Oh, it's private, but I just don't know how to like, braid that out of myself. You know what I mean? Yeah, like, how would people not embarrassed by buying bras? I'm like, obviously I wear bras. Everyone wears bras, but like, I don't want anyone.
we have such sidetracked and that actually is quite a good segue back into talking about is that we got a few suggestions for games for the one trick pony game. And one of them paste in you were saying before in the 20 minute pre show chat about someone mentioned that we just talk shit for as long as you can a lot. That's the game.
While So, I mean, Rob mentioned Hi, Rob, a board game full of shit talking would be would be great and so
So I guess an extension of that would be I mean, we kind of go monopoly but some sort of thing where you're picking up a card and you've got a word or a phrase on the card, and you have to ad lib on that phrase or word for a certain period of time. So it could be like 30 seconds where you have and
you pick up the card and it says tadpoles and you've got to talk about tadpoles for 30 seconds.
Yeah, non stop.
And it's just like a board game. So it's not necessarily like monopoly but it's just got the action cards in that Seon like that I also there was another one that Tom sent I Tom a good idea might be you or your producer pick names of TV series or films and you guess what it's about
that's a good one
which is kind of like Balderdash, which is the game I was talking about last week which is such a fun game but I reckon that's a really good one.
That's a great one because you
just got to lie and just like make shit up. And I also there was a few excuse me oh my god is the most Nana um, there was a few that were about Oh, no. That said we should shout one trick Tony instead of Oh no, but it's already a fucking game. Stupid, stupid suggestion. And nobody not one person said say Oh, no trick Tony.
Oh, that's Yeah,
not one person. I was very disappointed but just interested that maybe if we remade it this is this is a special one because I just thought it was funny. We can't do it just into you crazy. Una already exists. But her idea was that to do no but substitute the power cards things that I say like draw for would be fuck you you have to be up for and reverse would be online. Get back dickhead. Which I thought was quite funny, but just in time you fucking crazy because he knows already again. So. Um, but you know what? I feel like maybe we can't do the game.
Do you think we I don't think we can. It's it seems like a copy palava copyright not man. Um, what's like a lot, a litany of legal issues.
That's it sounds legal? Doesn't it? Literally, a lawyer would absolutely use that when they there's a litany of problems.
Oh, my God. It's a hot podcast today. It's the brucia.
Sorry, I have to start saying bruschetta.
I reckon. Yeah, it is hot. We don't want to get sued.
I don't want to get sued. But I mean, I do like the idea of the sheet talking game. Look, if people think that the sheet talking game is a good idea, we'll put up a poll on our Instagram story. If people think that the ship talking games are a good idea, then we can make it happen. Otherwise, I think we might have to say poof to you game and not do it because no one's interested. And I just thought it'd be a little bit of fun. And no one cares about the game
to where they use all the papers. Well,
well, yeah, I've got all these papers sitting here. Sorry paper. Going in been blank paper going in the bin. I'm not actually gonna throw blank paper in a bin. Obviously, because that would be crazy. what's right, it's the it's actually it's the brush shadow. No,
don't say that.
Are you stressing it out? It can you
Yeah. into this very expensive jump, ah, I'm sweating into this jumper. I bought this jumper that I'm wearing. And I had looked at it online before and thought that's too expensive. And then I saw it for about $110 cheaper than I had seen it previously. And I got so excited, they had no my size, I got so excited. And I put it in my car, and I paid for it so quickly. And it was in US dollars. Oh, so it was much cheaper. It was exactly the same process, except I had to pay more money in shipping. And so now I'm just like, gonna wear it every day for the rest of my life to try and get my money's worth. That's so
Yeah, it is annoying. I just I know that we, you and I paste in obviously that not the collective way, literally UI. We talked about this a little while ago, I think it was actually in the podcast that never went anywhere because I was in a bad mood, and you fucked up the recording. So it never went anywhere. And then when we had to redo it, I was like, Well, I'm not gonna talk about the same stuff cuz that shit. So I didn't, but it's actually been playing on my mind. So I was, I have spoken to a few friends about this. So I'm 26 I'm 27 in two months. So I'm on the wrong end of my 20s. But I'm 26. And I feel like I'm getting to this point where I feel like I might be going through like a midlife crisis. But obviously it's too early. But like, there's all these things that I've noticed. And I'm not about to be like, let's talk about our changing bodies. But like, so like, my hair is getting really coarse and like breaking off of the top. And it's not like from like colour damage or anything. It's like, my actual, the texture of my hair is actually changing and like, the texture of my skin is changing. And like, I used to only get one long beard hair, and like one right here, and I've gotten that for years, but now I get lots of beard hairs. And it's so normal like, but he has so no more. And I'm not like being afraid about it. But like, I just didn't know that all of a sudden, all these things were going to change because I thought that all of that happened when you were like 13 through 16. And then you would just like how you're going to be until you did. And I was also before I talked about this, I was very aware of potentially alienating maybe a lot of the people that listen to this, and even you pay some like, you're 20 and you're a boy. So obviously, we are different people and we're at like super different stages of life. But I was talking to tobs. And I said, Do you think that that's too? Like, is it too girly? Or do you think it's too like, like, 20 centric? And he said that he actually found the same kind of thing. So I'm going to talk about it because I think it's I think it's kind of interesting. And also I looked at the insights about you know, podcasting Instagram stuff. And it's like, 77% of people like the same gender and age as me. So like, but other 33% 23% of you can just shut up for one minute while I talk about this. And yeah, so basically, I've was talking about the hair stuff and the skin stuff and, and I actually think it's like mid 20s puberty. And I caught myself and I was like that's crazy. Like that's not a thing. And I actually think it might be and so I asked Hobbs what he reckons. And he said that he felt similarly and I guess for boys, it's different sorts of stuff, like your hair might start thinning or like you, like put on weight easier than you did when you were like younger and stuff like that. And I thought that because I just feel like I'm in young mode. Like I don't feel like I'm getting older in the way that I would sign up, be ready for a baby. And that is the that's like the way that I measure where I'm at. Like I've got I've got so many friends that are married with kids and like, that's, that's your journey. Like it's not a judgement thing at all. That's just like not my life and I don't have kids. I don't plan on having kids don't want children. And it's not because I don't love them. I've got nieces and nephews that I absolutely adore.
And a lot of Yeah, like I said a lot of my friends have kids and I love them. I love spending time with them. There's nothing better than like, Christmas time with kids and getting to like spoil kids and all of that stuff. Like, it's nothing about that. It's just, it's just not for me. But even at that age that I am now where like, yeah, I'm 2627 like, my mom and dad had four kids by now that we're married. Like, isn't that the most crazy? Isn't that the craziest thing? Like, I just cannot imagine having 20 children like running around off to me, or like, on a Saturday morning having someone be like, I need you like, you need to feed me and tight me outside and old, like, I take me outside. I'd like a puppy. I meant like, like, a just. And I, I'm just wondering if I missed something where I was supposed to go like, Oh, I'm a grown up now. And like, I need to know what taxes are. And I've got a job. And like, I have a car that I've paid off. And like, I know what interest means. And all these things like I just don't know. And I'm not saying I'm like, Oh, I'm 30. And I'm cute, because I like don't really know what I'm doing. And I'm not doing that at all. I'm actually genuinely fucking confused. Because Have I missed something where I don't really see myself as an adult, because I still think that I'm 19. And then I still think that a bit. I'm too old to be young, like, and I know that. But is it because like, Did I miss the growing up button? Is Is that why I don't feel grown up? Like is it because I don't have kids?
Like, maybe it's like, yeah, I mean, I think probably a lot of people have the same thought and same feeling. And it's probably at that age that you probably start to feel a lot more the pressure of just like, you know, family or you know, having all those grown up responsibilities. But I mean, what you mentioned, like, you know, your hair and stuff, but what are the sort of things? How did you come to that realisation?
What the hair was a big one, because I've got very thick hair. And I've always had really healthy hair. And like, just all of a sudden it just like really changed texture. And I asked my hairdresser about it Burkill she listens. Hi. I asked her about it. And she was like, Oh, and I was like I've been really stressed like because it came on so quickly. I was like I've been really stressed like, do you think that that's what it is? And she was like, No, babe. And I was like, What do you mean? Like, what can I do? And she was like, this is like, this is it? I was like, Are you telling me that this is what my hair is just going to continue being like this. She was like, Yeah, like when you just get older, like stuff changes, like your face, obviously, you get like less collagen in your face. So I've started fucking taking collagen collagen in my coffee every morning to try and fix myself try and reverse my ageing process. Like I don't, I don't think that the problem I have with is ageing and looking older. It's literally just that, like, I guess socially and mentally I feel like has my mental age, like been stunted because I'm not married, I don't have kids like, and I I'm not I'm not married. And like Toby and I have been together for like, six years now. And we've got like a great relationship, and we will get married one day. But like, both of us are not really that fussed about it. But we've both decided and talked about at length about not wanting kids. And I think it's just like, the, the way that we want our life to be is just, we don't really see having children as a as an option. Because of the things that we want to do. And the things that we want to see. And we want to achieve and stuff we just don't think of possible with how much it costs. Like that's literally one of the biggest things is like having a child and giving them the life that they they want and they deserve and that we would want to give them is just not something that I ever really say, is possible for me to achieve. Like. I mean, obviously, if this podcast back and goes huge, and then we're reached, you know, who knows? But like, I just, it's just never, I think when I was a kid, and I guess this is something that a lot of girls especially will relate to is that like when I was a kid, I just always was like, Oh yeah, you grow up and you have babies and you get married and you buy a house and that's just like what you do. And boys as well. It's like pretty standard, like ideal, I guess. And I was like I actually know that I really want children. And it was I guess it was actually probably after that my mom passed away and I was like oh like one day I'll be a mom and all these people were saying like, one day you'll be a mom and you'll know like how you know your mom loves you so much. One day, you'll notice I was like, we lie. And I get like, it's really hard because I just don't really have that part of me that's like yearning to be a parent. And I know that some people have it and some people just don't. But I wonder if the reason that I don't feel grown up is because I don't have a child. And because I like don't have a piece of paper that says that I love someone that I know that I love them. But no, I don't have a piece of paper that says I love someone that I know that I love. But I'm literally an idiot, so I shouldn't be having to get into. But you know what I mean, like, and I just always feel so young. I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm not big enough to make these decisions or do these things or talk about wanting to have kids or not wanting to have kids or talking about getting married, or, like, one of my good friends from work SAS, she was supposed to be getting married on the weekend, which like, unfortunately, was postponed due to COVID. And I was just like, Oh, my God, you were supposed to be an adult this weekend. Like, you're supposed to be married, but now you're not. And you're still a kid. Like, it just seems so crazy to me. And I remember, my mom telling me when I was a kid, I probably asked her something really fucking rude. Like, ma'am, how does it feel to be old? Like, what does that feel like? And she said, I feel 20 until I look in the mirror, and remember, I'm not. Oh, my God, that is poetry. Oh, my God. That should start writing, you know? Yeah. Oh, my God. My mom and I it's just quotes that I remember that she said, but it's like, it's actually so true. Like, I don't feel 26 I don't What's that supposed to feel like?
Yeah, I can imagine a lot of people get thrusted into Parenthood. And it's just, it's going from that sort of feeling like a kid in that whole, that whole vibe and that lifestyle to then having all these responsibilities that comes with being a parent. And when you feel like you, whether it does actually make you grow up or not, or you know, feel more like an adult, it, it's more of like a tangible thing that you can point to to be like, Oh, yeah, that's true. This is actually I guess, helped me in a way become more of an adult.
And I guess it's the, the forced, yeah, like the forced and rushed feelings of like, like, if you're not planning on having a child, and you know, at the app, for some people, it's a day. But you know, for most people, it's, you know, nine months, you find out that you're going to have a baby or your partner is going to have a baby or someone that you've slept with is going to have a baby. And you know, you need to decide whether you can be there or keep it or whatever. And all of those things like you just have forced to grow up because all of a sudden, like someone else's life is literally in your hands. But I just can't imagine being in that situation where Yeah, I'm waking up on Saturday morning, and someone's asking me to fake them that isn't totally.
yeah, I I'd be really interested to know if other people have or if they aren't 26 tomorrow, if they're a bit older now. And they felt this way when they were younger, or are going through this at the moment because like, surely I'm not alone, because but all this stuff is changing. And it's terrifying. Like my hair and my skin and it's just honestly, I was like, Who the fuck knew that this stuff was coming and they didn't think they should let us know. Someone could have warned me about my skin and my head turning to absolute shit. And the fact that I would have to stop paying for collagen. The collagen that I've started taking is actually quite nice. It's the brand dose and co gets a little New Zealand brand. And you know if anybody from Dyson COEs listening, it's $40 a top wouldn't mind it if you sent some for free. That'd be great. But yeah, I wonder if other people feel that or if I'm just crazy or maybe we could maybe there would be someone we could talk to like I don't know maybe like a behaviour behavioural psych or something. I could actually say, I not legitimise because if you're feeling it it is legitimate. But I guess is there science involved? And last time we talked about this pace in which the podcasts that never made it rest in peace? You mentioned that there's like in your late 20s you go through what is it you have Uranus ascending
descending I think it's called Saturn return
Saturn return Uranus returns Saturn return. But there's
it's to do with like what is I don't know
Oh, goody boo, boo boo. And I love it because I love stuff like this. And if you don't love stuff like this, that's fine, we're only going to talk about it for literally 45 seconds. But so the idea is that it's like when there's a big change in your life, it actually all of those things are like written into the stars for each person. And that, like you have three throughout your life, like three big upheavals that go for like three years that, like, signify massive changes. And if anybody is super into this stuff, I'm really sorry if I'm totally butchering it. But I did look into it. And it's not mine yet. I did my I did my star chart. And it's not it's not mine yet.
No, I'm just going through some shit, apparently.
Yeah, but they're also the way that they say it works is that lines up with the where, where the planet returns to, it returns to the same position as it was when you were born. And so for Saturn, it's like 29. And so that coincides, you know, with turning 30, and everything that comes along with, you know, feeling like you need to be an adult and stuff. And so yeah,
or like changing your Korea or whatever. Yeah,
a lot of a lot of things where you just like feeling that you need to change things, or reinvent yourself. And so that's the term that they've put to it. And so, like, there are people that will tell you about that.
So yeah, I think that's really interesting. But apparently, according to the styles, that's not what I'm going through right now. Which is a shame, because at least I can put it down to, yeah, I could point to something. But I think it's just that I'm having maybe an identity crisis, because everybody around me is doing all these things. I'm like, you're growing up, and I don't feel like I am.
Not to be.
That's the thing. Like what, who, who just like Guess who gets to decide whether I'm an adult or not, like, if I'm paying my bills, like being an adult doesn't mean that you wear a suit to work every day like just means that you meet your commitments, and that you're not a piece of shit and you don't know, can be responsible for yourself. And yeah, I shouldn't be so hard on myself. And if anybody is listening, and they feel the same way, don't be hard on yourself. I think it's just a shock. I think it's one of those things were one of those times probably where I really wish I had my mom to ask her about it. Like, if this is normal, and if she kind of had this when she had kids or before she had kids or you know, and I think it's just a different time. Like, like I said before, all of our mums as in, you know, people around my age, all of our moms had kids when they were 18. And, you know, they like, it hasn't been until after we've grown up that they've like gone back to uni or joined the workforce again and stuff. And I think that's really common by people. People as in women and men, because two people decide. I choosing to like, especially women that have like a lot stronger careers than ever before. And we're earning, you know, more money than we've ever earned before. And young people like getting higher and higher in ranks of like, of companies and startups, like fuckin people are starting businesses left, right and centre, which I think it's just the coolest thing about maybe we just start a business
or start a business.
Do you think I should start a business? That would make me feel like a grind out?
What would you What would you do if you had to start a business? Anything you want?
I'm not good at anything.
But what if you could you could run it? You don't have to do it. You just have to run it.
Oh, okay. Um,
You know, it'd be good to run like a skincare company or a clothing company, because then I would get to test all the stuff. Also, if I could start a business where I just looked after Zoe foster Blake, like, maybe I was have PE or something. That'd be great.
look off to her every day. look after her appointments and be like, Mrs. Foster, like you've actually got an appointment today. That would be really good. Or, um, yeah, basically, all of the things that I've just suggested. Other include make getting things for free, or hanging out with people that are cool, or both. Maybe I should learn a business. I just thought maybe that would help. Hmm. But I don't know, I guess. Yeah. I wonder if people feel the same way as me because I feel so lost. And I want to know whether if it's because I'm not married and don't have a baby. And I really hope that no one takes this as me breaking down that I'm not married. My God. The last thing I need is a Daily Mail article saying that I'm freaky. about having kids. Just kidding. No one's Zoe foster Blake's close personal friend Tony lunch breaks down, about not being married. No, it's definitely not that definitely not a cry for help. It's literally just like other people feeling nice because I feel a bit alone. And other people are feeling this because otherwise, I need help.
And in which case, it is a cry for help.
But having said that, you know, me being an adult, thank you to everybody that messaged me to remind me to renew tools as possible. I just talked about that last week. And I said, if I haven't talked about that can get somebody message me and remind me, and I printed off the paperwork today. So there you
go, guy who needs a calendar. Exactly.
Yeah, maybe that's what I'll do. I'll set I'll set one reminder, one insurer reminder every week. And then people can message me that's not interesting, because I don't always have things I need to remember. I do have a busy week this week, though. Oh, I'll message someone on Instagram. But thank you for actually quite a few people like five or six people messaged me about 12 as possible, which is so sweet. Thank you. But so now that I've opened up my heart, my soul, I'm gonna close it right back up. And we, well, another game I've got with another game. So, um, we get like so many lovely, lovely, lovely reviews about this podcast, my podcast that people liked listening to, which is we get so many lovely reviews. And I thought that we would read a couple out. Because how cute. I've got the thing open here somewhere. Oh, see, this is another thing that I don't understand. I've got all these screens, but still not enough room to do anything. Let's see. I'm a bit worried. So these are the up in Apple podcasts. Right? Which is probably where the majority of you are listening. Actually. I know it is because we can say the breakdown in our analytics. So I know that you fucking listening through Apple podcasts. Behind you. There's all this so many lovely ones. So many. There's not there's five. Now there's a few there. It's 115. There's more than five. Um, do you want to pick one Mason? Tip power? Who? God wanna pick one person to read? Sure. Oh, do you want to him? Id fest?
Okay, no. So what is the game?
No. So this is the game. This is the idea. This is the idea again, like so we're gonna write out three. So because it really sucks because inside Apple podcasts like weather reviews are people just write like a random name like Mr. Fluffy about six, five, or whatever. They're not actually. So you can't like contact anybody. Can't talk to anyone. You can't say thank you. So what I thought we could do is we'll write out three. And if you're listening, and you hear your review, read out, you can message the Instagram page, and I'll send you something fun.
Cute. That's great.
he he had that idea. No, it's nice. I think it's great. I mean, it's, I mean, first I mean, I don't know how people I guess they can they know what they read the free.
Surely. And if we write out like the dumb name that I've written, but he thought I get back to me then I get to keep the prize. That's good. I don't know what the prize is. I I was brainstorming this with tubes? And I said that I would send people one fun sighs miles bar. Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, yeah,
cuz it's like a shit prize. But it's fun. That's true. I mean,
yeah. It's gonna get a disappointment pretty quickly because you'll start at the bar.
Exactly. But also because people don't listen to this because I'm like, very eloquent and good at talking. It's shit. People like it because it's shit. And yeah, so I feel like if I send someone something that is meaningful, but she is I think that that would lock that.
And people's expectations are already so low, but I feel like I've tiny fun sighs man's boss, like really saved them. And we can't do sneakers because of not elegies.
So they go but you Real awesome now, you're trying to kill people. All right. Okay, you can pick one to rate.
Okay, well, I've got one. Five stars from 0029735.
Yep. No way. Yeah, she's a good friend of mine.
Wonderful. Tony, you continue to amaze and humour me with your raw wit and relatable stories. Never stop.
Oh. Oh, that's very sweet. That's a nice one. I hope they're all nice. Okay, I'm gonna pick one. I want to pick one that makes me sound really good. None of them make me sound really good to be honest. Okay, this one is from is five stars also tbb es es nine. Ah. Another good friend of mine obviously. So good. Two exclamation marks last Tony foreign. Absolutely. Legend. I'm guessing that Tony, you're an absolute legend that I'm giggled. I giggled. I giggled my whole way through your second episode, and I will definitely be and I will definitely be a forever listener.
That is so fucking nice. Okay. All right. Should we pick one more? You can pick one more. Okay. Um,
there's a really great one from clothing with the best 17 days. What is that one?
Sorry, I'm just scrolling. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. Oh. Oh, yep. Chloe, we get about 500 A's. Also, five stars. Seems to be a theme. laughing so hard. I look fucking crazy. Same bitch. Okay. This is so funny. I'll have to save these for when I'm driving. Because today on my walk, people kept looking at me like I was insane. 10 out of 10 recommends so highly say that she's given up five stars. And then at the bottom she says 10 out of 10. I think she's confused by mean. Both both good. So if t baby ss 98 Chloe, or zero to five, if you're listening, which you fucking should be because you give my podcast five stars. But if you're listening, then send me your address on Instagram. You can message at one trick tiny show or at Tony lodge on Instagram and we'll send you something cute. It might not be a fun sized mouse, but you know we should do Here we go. I could record someone's outgoing message. Beep Hi, gift code Chloe. I can't get to the phone right now because I'm hanging out with my best friend Tony from one trick tiny the podcast. Call me up. Okay, well, sorry. If you're listening. You can't fucking use that. That was an example. Now one cool Chloe can use that you're not allowed. Copyright. I fucked myself there. People can use that. But if you would like to win a prize, which is gonna be good. It's gonna be a good prize. Ooh. It's not it's not a good price, but it's nice knowing what we can. Yeah. And I feel like I would write a cute like, handwritten note because I'm that guy. I like love giving gifts. That is definitely my love language. You know how everyone's is different? Yeah. Yeah. Because what are the options? giving gifts? Sending quality time?
What physical touch
physical touch oh my god i service boyfriend acts of service. And
maybe there is maybes only for
now I think it's five to be the five love languages. words of affirmation.
Oh, yeah, nah. Okay, so I'm definitely quality time. And gift giving, not like receiving. I'm giving show. gifts.
That's all we have time for. If you would like your love language to be words of affirmation, then please leave a review on Apple podcasts. And next week you might be featured featured. And the more people that review this podcast, and like like it and subscribe. People might say it and then we might get famous. And I'm going to take y'all with me. We're going to be famous Together, except it will be mainly me because obviously my photos on the thing like the podcasts about me even mine, somebody is always trying to sleep tapes. So it is mainly about me. But if you've got a problem Oh, that wasn't like confrontational that was like if you've got a problem message me and we can chat about it. So I just got I got nothing but time. Anyway, that is the end. We're gonna wrap it there because I feel like burned through a lot of topics really fast. Bar. absolutely loved having you here today. Thank you so much listing because it's literally such a crazy time of the year at the end of September. There's a lot happening. It's like less than 100 days to Christmas, which is what has happened to me today. I've fucking gone off the Richter
I'm pumped for Christmas. I love Christmas.
Yeah, me too. I loved it a lot when I was a kid. And now that I'm an adult, it's a bit different. But I do love it. I love it. Like last year, we spent Christmas with our friends. And it was so it was so far. And but I mean, we're not going to be able to go home at Christmas time anyway. Yeah, like to Wi Fi. There's just no way. And but that's not me being sad. I'm just saying sorry to anybody that can't be with their family for Christmas, or I feel really bad now. Oh, but I can't send miles balls to everybody. I just we don't have the budget for that. We've actually got zero budget. I'm gonna be buying the mothballs from my own out of pocket. Yeah, is my own. beautifully dressed pocket. Very expensive. jumpit pocket. Okay, I feel like ranting on a weird night now. But thank you for listening. It's actually been such a pleasure. Don't forget to rate and subscribe and leave a review if you'd like to win next week's prize. And you can message us at one trick pony show on Instagram. Or at Tony lodge on Instagram. That's just that's just me. No one else's. That's a separate one. And you can email us hi at one trick tiny.com Today you can't come back. And you can write to me also, so you can address it to Tony Lodge. PO Box 400. Abbotsford Victoria 31273673. Yes. All right. I'm going. I'm going to go Oh, I think I might go and exercise.
It's sunny outside.
Oh, is it
to have cost All right. All right. Goodbye, everyone. See ya. Love you. Thank you so much for listening. I'm sorry. Go way to the end. Bye. Bye. Bye bye bye bye. Bye. No, you hang up first. Okay, see, ya
know Yeah, I got this lovely