Becoming A Dame/
- November 19, 2020
Toni chats about becoming a dame, the odds of dying, sleep routines and conditions, how overrated fireworks are, and getting ready for Christmas.
On today’s show:
- Hot weather and craving the ocean
- The odds of dying
- Sleep routines
- Fireworks are overrated
- Getting ready for Christmas
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY.
Toni Lodge: [00:00:00] Hello. Welcome to one trick, Tony, a podcast where you can forget about your own problems and you can forget the name of the podcast
Mason Lauder: [00:00:18] really rattled you didn't it
Toni Lodge: [00:00:22] I'll tell you for why it's, because I was like, I don't want to say the episode number there because I keep saying it twice. I keep saying. Hello, welcome to episode blah. Once you're turning your podcasts blue. Wow. It's episode, blah. And I just like, pretend I don't know it yet. So I was like, you know what I'm going to do.
I like came in with this plan of attack where I wasn't going to say that I was going to go, hello, welcome to one trick, Tony. And I did that, but I went, hello, welcome to black. And I just didn't say anything. Um, but the reason that I was art patient people, people pacing. Um, the reason that I was excited though, is that our podcast, my podcast, one trick Tony, not one trick, Tony and Mesa.
Um, my podcast, this podcast is old enough to have sex. It's 16. Wait, no, you can't have sex. A new 16 weeks old. Not in Australia. So
she wasted again.
Mason Lauder: [00:01:31] How, how long, how long did it take you to plan out? The six days
Toni Lodge: [00:01:36] Julie, we just jumped on to zoom. So fuck we would, and we were also just discussing how good it's going to be when we're not recording on zoom anymore, because. For anyone playing at home, we are still recording in our self isolated booth. So I'm at home in my studio, Payson's at home in his studio and we haven't yet recorded.
We have met in real life, but we haven't yet recorded an episode together in the same room. And we're talking about how fun that would be. But anyway, it was during that chat with, we were like, Oh, episode 16, it's hard to believe that this podcast has been going for. 16 weeks. And I was like, Oh, 16, it's just really gone downhill.
Did I not say to you that I didn't want to record this today because we're recording on a different day. So we used to always record on Mondays and then I sent on Mondays.
So we changed it to a Tuesday and then dickhead.
Mason Lauder: [00:02:34] Not pacing. Clarity
Toni Lodge: [00:02:37] is like, I pointed to make people understand. I could only get a hair. You try it. You got a hairdresser appointment on Tuesday, which is tomorrow the 17th of November. And I'm very, very excited. My hairdresser listens to this. She loves it per kil.
Anyway, she is only available tomorrow. So I think. Guys, I don't want to be a diva, but can I please give a quote on a Monday and then all afternoon? And I've been like, Oh God, could you do the podcast? I am really not prepared. And I'm so tired. And this is what's happened. I've talked like this is the result.
I should cancel the haircut and we should raise it tomorrow. Maybe just record at the hairdressers.
Mason Lauder: [00:03:24] Oh, that could be fun. Are you looking forward to it?
Toni Lodge: [00:03:27] I'm actually so excited. Like I know that sounds really dumb. I think it's probably just a like little bit of normality, even though you have to wear a mask and stuff, which is fine, but I am so excited cause I haven't had my hair done since like January
Mason Lauder: [00:03:45] far out.
Toni Lodge: [00:03:46] Yeah. Like. I know it's atrocious.
Mason Lauder: [00:03:50] No, it still looks great.
Toni Lodge: [00:03:52] Step. I've got a boyfriend. Um, but I got my eyebrows done on the weekend, which was so exciting. Hadn't had those done since like June, so very exciting stuff, a pampering week. But anyway, so I was really fucking selfish and I decided to put my hair above the podcast and then I've just, I started
Mason Lauder: [00:04:12] off on rich and famous person would do.
Toni Lodge: [00:04:16] Oh my God. Do you think so? I can't possibly get more hair. Oh my God. I sound like Kylie Minogue. How is that done? Oh, in Lee celebrity.
Mason Lauder: [00:04:33] Kylie minnows got like an English accent.
Toni Lodge: [00:04:36] Oh, she's Australian. Yeah. Um, okay. Who's English. Um, um, Hugh grant,
what is wrong? We've made Callie. Monogan Hugh grant. How are they? The only actors that I could think of? Um, who else has English? Oh, Julia Roberts. Nope. She's American. Um,
Mason Lauder: [00:05:08] Now that
Toni Lodge: [00:05:09] she's English, they go off to school to get, get my hair done. So I can't possibly record one trick Helen Mirren today. That's what her podcast would be called. Um, I can't act Toni Collette one trick Tony, because she's Australian. Um, is there any English females called Tony?
Mason Lauder: [00:05:32] Australian English?
Toni Lodge: [00:05:33] No, no, just English. Don't call me out like that. Just eat just English.
This is so awful. I think we should start again. Oh, here we go. No, no English.
Mason Lauder: [00:05:54] No, it's not looking good. To be honest.
Toni Lodge: [00:05:57] I would be willing to extend it to English males.
Mason Lauder: [00:06:03] Are we looking at just I, or do you want Y as well?
Toni Lodge: [00:06:05] It doesn't matter. Cause it just seems to sound like it. Yeah. Just has to sound like, because that's how puns work.
They just have to sound like the word. Sorry, Yulin. Comedy's really hard to understand. Some people are natural born comedians. Like man, not today though. Only on Tuesdays.
Mason Lauder: [00:06:28] This is very difficult to find it. And Tony Robinson,
Toni Lodge: [00:06:32] Tony Robinson. Who's that?
Mason Lauder: [00:06:34] English actor. Comedian author, television star
Toni Lodge: [00:06:38] presenter.
Mason Lauder: [00:06:39] Yep, sir. 74 years old.
Toni Lodge: [00:06:43] Oh, Oh my God. I reckon I could be it. What are you? If you're a woman, a Madam, a man, a mistress. If you, Oh, can women be knighted? Is that a thing? Oh my God. I've just hit my move goal on my Apple watch.
Mason Lauder: [00:06:58] Great. It's a knighthood. The equivalent of a knighthood is a Dame hood.
Toni Lodge: [00:07:03] So I would be Dame.
Oh, like Judy Dench.
Mason Lauder: [00:07:06] Yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:07:07] Um, Dame, Tony lodge, Dame, Tony Louise lodge. What do people get knighted for? Like saving kids. Like good careers.
Mason Lauder: [00:07:20] Yeah. Contributions to society. It's always,
Toni Lodge: [00:07:23] I'm not going to get it for that. There's just no way
Mason Lauder: [00:07:28] you're going to have to save someone.
Toni Lodge: [00:07:30] Oh, I could save you from, um, whatever, whatever situation you feel comfortable from.
Maybe if you were in a burning building, I could run in and rescue you. We would do it. We would do it in like a controlled environment. So you wouldn't get hurt. We'd have to legally. We'd get some insurance money out of it, though. If you're willing to sacrifice yourself,
Mason Lauder: [00:08:02] how much are we just talking? All of me or just a hand
Toni Lodge: [00:08:06] you would be dead probably by grace could have the money.
Your girlfriend actually, she wouldn't get it because we've only been together for like five days. So your mom would probably be, yeah,
Mason Lauder: [00:08:17] I don't think you'd get a dime hood either. If I passed away
Toni Lodge: [00:08:20] are true.
Mason Lauder: [00:08:22] If I died, it's just like, well, that's unfortunate.
Toni Lodge: [00:08:26] Yeah, that's just a thing that's happened. That doesn't mean I would read that and I have to,
Mason Lauder: [00:08:29] I reckon if for you to get a dime hood, you'd have to rescue someone.
You'd have to rescue. It'd be pretty suspicious, but I reckon you'd have to do it probably five times before you're going to get a dime hood
Toni Lodge: [00:08:40] five rescues. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Don't you think that Dame hood sounds like a bit sexual?
Mason Lauder: [00:08:49] It's
Toni Lodge: [00:08:49] a win-back Madame horde, you know, like it's just like a big cry.
It's not gross. The human body's amazing love vaginas, but like, like let's check out under the Dame hood. You know what I mean? Like a mechanic would say, like, let's check under the hood. No, I, I dunno. I just thought maybe, but if you don't reckon that's cool. That's fine.
Mason Lauder: [00:09:17] It's all right.
Toni Lodge: [00:09:19] When I
Mason Lauder: [00:09:20] asked to be nominated by the way.
Toni Lodge: [00:09:22] Oh, by who?
Mason Lauder: [00:09:24] Um,
Toni Lodge: [00:09:25] other rescuers,
Mason Lauder: [00:09:27] anyone can be nominated to receive a knighthood or dime hood as long as they meet the Queens honor criteria for the award.
Toni Lodge: [00:09:34] What's the criteria.
Mason Lauder: [00:09:37] Okay. So,
Toni Lodge: [00:09:39] yep. I'm ready.
Mason Lauder: [00:09:41] You need to have made a major contribution. To the country at a national or international level, your work and achievements will be viewed as an inspiration to others.
And they may have influenced their peers, the industry, or nation through their sustained outstanding commitment to their chosen area.
Toni Lodge: [00:10:01] I reckon I already made those criteria. To be honest, I reckon I could apply now. Should we fill in the form?
Mason Lauder: [00:10:08] How do I nominate someone to be knighted? Here we go. Oh, you need to provide the cabinet office with all the relevant details of the nominees achievements to letters of support with your nomination.
This must come from people. Of, uh, who have experienced the nominees achievements firsthand, and being able to talk with enthusiasm about their work. You can not resubmit nominations year on year until you get the result you want. Once the nomination is being considered, it will not be reconsidered until a minimum of two years have passed.
Toni Lodge: [00:10:41] Well, I mean, for the recommendations, we could just send them a review of this podcast. I mean, that would be fine. That's easy, easy. And then, um, obviously my contributions speak for themselves. I think that we could end up. But you would have to nominate me. So
Mason Lauder: [00:10:59] would you feel comfortable doing that? Yeah,
Toni Lodge: [00:11:02] I reckon we do it.
We, we put me up, but you know what, you know, what really sucks is that sewn, like who has been knighted, like dang Judi Dench, um, S like Bob Geldof, um, Elton John, you know, famous. They're famous. So when you're talking about their contributions, like contributions to the arts. Yes. Like, but they've got a leg up because they're famous.
Of course they're going to get it because she's going to go. I would love some, the queen, like Liz, she's going to go. Of course. I want some free tickets to out and gentlemen, he's in town. Yeah. I'll fucking naughty him. So that I'm bright sitting on top of his piano when he comes to London next, you know, I just don't really agree with that.
What she going to do? Yeah. Let's not Tony because I get. To see on like a podcast recording everybody that is listening to this podcast thinks that they're the only person listening. That's the amazing thing. Hello. I was going to say a name, but then I thought that'd be too weird magic if you listened to the podcast.
Yeah. Imagine if you're listening to a podcast and you just, you heard like, hello, Mason.
Mason Lauder: [00:12:14] Yeah. I mean,
Toni Lodge: [00:12:15] that's that's happening right now, but if you weren't you, cause I don't have a very common name. So if I heard that in a podcast, people like picked one name to say, and it was Tony. I'd be like, and I like don't think anything's a coincidence.
I reckon everything means something. So I'd be like, Oh, we're meant to be married later. It was
Mason Lauder: [00:12:37] weird if it's not your name though. Just in the, you're just, they're just saying random names.
Toni Lodge: [00:12:43] I wouldn't think about it. Then you just be like, Oh, they haven't said my name. I don't know. I don't know what you would do.
Well, everybody that's not called Mason, which is what I just said or hello, Stephanie. Everyone. That's not called Stephanie. Tell us how that made you feel. Let us know in the comments below. Um, I wa Oh, it's really hot in Melbourne at the moment. Right? So fucking hot, which I absolutely love. I actually really, really like hot weather because I'm cold weather, even though it's really nice to have an excuse to like stay inside.
And just watch TV or cool core, like, you know, be warm. Um, I really, really liked the hot weather because it makes me feel so opposite of depressed. Like as soon as it's sunny outside, I just feel invigorated. You know, when you wake up in the morning and it's sunny, you just like, Oh, I just want to do stuff because it's so beautiful.
I actually had that swimming feeling this afternoon before we started recording this
Mason Lauder: [00:13:55] really,
Toni Lodge: [00:13:55] you know, when you just get that feeling of like being in the ocean.
Mason Lauder: [00:14:00] Not in no,
Toni Lodge: [00:14:01] like he just wished that you're in the ocean.
Mason Lauder: [00:14:03] I mean, I wish I was near a beach.
Toni Lodge: [00:14:05] Yeah. From the beach.
Mason Lauder: [00:14:08] Well, I'm not near the beach.
Toni Lodge: [00:14:10] Well, not really.
Mason Lauder: [00:14:12] really. No.
Toni Lodge: [00:14:13] Oh, well I guess, yeah. Okay. I guess I wish I was near the beach, but I, you know, when you just like, want that feeling of like the ocean, just like flushing over you. And that like really cold LA oceany water. I really felt like that today. I haven't had it yet. Maybe I'll go off to this. That'd
Mason Lauder: [00:14:33] be lovely.
I mean, I D I did see a meditation, um, on Chris Hemsworth's. Um, I think, yeah, they actually posted well meditating in the sea, just sitting like in the rocks and gravel area. And it was just the water, like you were saying, just washing over him.
Toni Lodge: [00:14:51] Oh, maybe influenced me and I forgot. I saw that and it just made me feel like that.
But you know, when you just really want to Hmm,
Mason Lauder: [00:15:00] well, I, yeah, I, I get it with, um, I, I feel like it's definitely like, it's a temperature, as soon as you feel like this, you just want to be able to jump into.
Toni Lodge: [00:15:09] Yeah. Yeah. And you just want your like, cause you know, when you jump into a pool or into the ocean or whatever, and you literally feel.
Your body temperature, like take a nose dive and it's like such an amazing feeling. Yeah. I love that. I think I wonder if that's because I grew up with a POL, so I've always been super privileged of being able to be like, I can just run into the backyard and go swimming. Like it would literally not even be summer year and we would, we would be swimming already.
So maybe I really miss that. But yeah, today I just like, it's like not too hot outside at the moment. It's maybe like, A balmy 23, 24. And it's just like, perfect. Like sitting outside with her anyway. It's really fucking hot at the moment. And at night time, I like, I can't sleep without a donor on like, so it doesn't matter how hot it is.
Like I have to. So I've talked about this before that tubes and I. My fake producer boyfriend. He and I both have like a Quain Dooner, like full doona each we don't, we can't share. And during summer it doesn't matter how hot it gets, but I have to sleep with a donor on, I think it's an anxiety thing that I'm just so scared of.
Like not having protection. I can't sleep with just a sheet eight. Like it has to be a duner. Oh my God. Sorry. My body just got stressed out. I was talking about being hot. Anyway. Um, and so I've been like sleeping shit because I, Oh, also the flip of that, I dunno, I feel the same, but even during winter, when it's literally two degrees, I've got the fan on.
Oh yeah. It doesn't matter how hot or cold it is. I've got a fan and a donor on
Mason Lauder: [00:16:51] really?
Toni Lodge: [00:16:52] Yep. Like does not matter how hot doesn't matter how cold I've got a fan.
Mason Lauder: [00:16:59] Does a window, does a window replace us?
Toni Lodge: [00:17:03] No. Yeah. I love sleeping with the window open, but I'm just too scared that someone will crawl in and kill me.
I live on like the fourth floor.
Mason Lauder: [00:17:15] Yeah. A lot of crawling today.
Toni Lodge: [00:17:16] Yes. But imagine,
Mason Lauder: [00:17:19] yeah,
Toni Lodge: [00:17:20] I'm going to do wake up. Someone's crawled in and I'm dead. And I go, well, I should have listened to myself and that podcast. Yeah. I don't think that's very common. Like, I don't think that's something that happens, you know, how, um, like when you're scared of flying and there's always someone that says like, Oh, you know, that you're like 25.6 times more likely to die falling out of bed than you are in a plane crash or whatever.
You know how that says, can you please Google that? I wonder if that's actually true.
Mason Lauder: [00:17:46] It's a falling out of bed. It's definitely driving cars. More dangerous falling out of
Toni Lodge: [00:17:55] bed.
My art teacher, mr. Smoker taught me that in like year four,
Mason Lauder: [00:18:06] really?
Toni Lodge: [00:18:06] Year seven, actually. Sorry. Yep.
Mason Lauder: [00:18:12] Okay. So there is a one in 2 million chance of you dying from falling off a bed or chair
Toni Lodge: [00:18:19] wanting. Hang on, let me write this down, wanting 2 million,
Mason Lauder: [00:18:22] 1.2 million.
Toni Lodge: [00:18:26] That's bed or chair?
Mason Lauder: [00:18:28] Bed or chair. Yep.
Toni Lodge: [00:18:29] Yeah.
Mason Lauder: [00:18:30] And taking into account the odds of dying in a plane crash. Uh, one in 11 million.
Toni Lodge: [00:18:36] Fuck me. Isn't that high?
I know. Well, low, sorry.
Mason Lauder: [00:18:42] Wow. Yeah. Yeah. But also like
Toni Lodge: [00:18:45] what's the car.
Mason Lauder: [00:18:50] I'll Google it, but here here's a good one. One in 685,000 chance of drowning in a
Toni Lodge: [00:18:55] bath one in 685,000. Yep. That's too much. That's too many people drowning in a bath.
Mason Lauder: [00:19:04] I know I had crazy.
Toni Lodge: [00:19:06] Holy fuck. So that's one in 600 and I hang on one in 685,000 people dying from giant drowning and about one in 685,000 people drowning in a bath, which unfortunately I assume includes like children, which is horrible.
Um, but there's what 8 billion people in the world. Seven 7.8, but 7.8 billion divided by 695,000,
Mason Lauder: [00:19:51] 11,386.
Toni Lodge: [00:19:55] ILIT out of the population that exists right now. 11,386. People of those are going to die from drowning in the Ba'ath. That's fucking great. That's all good.
Mason Lauder: [00:20:11] No, well, he's got he's he's another outrageous one.
Toni Lodge: [00:20:14] Oh yeah.
Mason Lauder: [00:20:14] So, uh, okay. Yeah, he goes so chokey on food one in 2,618.
Toni Lodge: [00:20:27] That is also shockingly. Ha
Mason Lauder: [00:20:30] ha. How about this? This is another one.
Toni Lodge: [00:20:32] Good way to go though. You're eating right. You're eating like, Oh
Mason Lauder: [00:20:37] yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:20:38] You're out for dinner. You're eating a delicious crock. I chicken. You Chuck on it. There's a bit of keeping your mouth still. Not a bad way to go. I'm very sorry. If there's anyone listening has lost a loved one to choking on food.
It sounds incredibly in sympathy, unsympathetic of me, but you know, there's worse ways.
Mason Lauder: [00:20:58] Yeah. Motor vehicle crash one in 106 people. This is by the way, this is, this is across the U S the U S
Toni Lodge: [00:21:05] 2018.
Mason Lauder: [00:21:06] This is the U S in 2018
Toni Lodge: [00:21:08] one in 106. That is fucked.
Mason Lauder: [00:21:12] Yeah. I mean, it really goes to show heart disease or cancer, one in six and one in seven,
Toni Lodge: [00:21:19] wanting seven for cancer.
Mason Lauder: [00:21:21] Yeah, this is us. It's pretty outrageous. Isn't it? Sunstroke one in 7,770.
Toni Lodge: [00:21:29] Fuck. Yeah. Do you know, what's really fucked about that as well? Is that like obviously the, um, the American healthcare system is very different to ours, so we've got black public healthcare and Americans don't. I wonder if that's why their numbers are higher, because if you get heart disease or cancer, like there'd be a lot of people that don't have insurance and can't pay for it, especially like lowest socioeconomic areas where.
There's just like no support and people don't earn enough money to that's really fucking sad. Um, this is so heavy, but I just am interested to know. So you said that one in, uh, let's go one in six people die from heart. Yeah, what's the figure in Australia,
Mason Lauder: [00:22:21] Australia.
Toni Lodge: [00:22:23] I'm sorry, everyone.
Oh, fuck. It's obviously higher face on the face that you just made.
Mason Lauder: [00:22:34] Oh, my goodness. Cardiovascular disease was the underlying cause of death in 41,800 deaths in 2018, which was 26% of all deaths in 2018.
Toni Lodge: [00:22:46] Oh my God. Do we have, is there a way I
Mason Lauder: [00:22:50] want to see the chance? Yeah. If we can get the one in how many.
That's crazy, isn't it?
Toni Lodge: [00:22:59] I mean, we could work it out from that. So how many people are in Australia? What is it?
Mason Lauder: [00:23:06] Yeah. How many are we at now? Are we at 20, 20, 24? Because
Toni Lodge: [00:23:11] you remember the other day, I said, isn't there 4 million people in Australia and there's 8 million people in Melbourne. Like
Mason Lauder: [00:23:18] I think we might be four in Victoria in 2020 to 25 million.
Toni Lodge: [00:23:23] So 25 million. In Australia. And let's just assume that those numbers were the same in 2016. What did you say? How many people did you say died? 695,000
Mason Lauder: [00:23:39] Pego heart disease represents one in five of all deaths.
Toni Lodge: [00:23:43] Five
Mason Lauder: [00:23:45] kills one person every 19 minutes.
Toni Lodge: [00:23:49] Oh my God. All the time, his podcast he's done. Three people will have died.
That's fucked. Now we actually, we've got to keep the podcast going so that people don't die. Wait,
Mason Lauder: [00:24:00] got to wrap it up.
Toni Lodge: [00:24:01] Oh yes. That lets you see everyone's the podcasts would be 17 or alone. Must be allowed to drink.
Oh, that's actually so depressing. We have to stop. Why have we done this to ourselves? I'm so sorry to everybody leave sink. That was fucking dark. Okay. All right. I'm throwing this envelope away with all those horrible statistics on it. Um, well, that's really shocking because I thought that
Mason Lauder: [00:24:30] we go from knighthood to that, by the way, just,
Toni Lodge: [00:24:32] um, I said that it's really hot at the moment and that I didn't want to sleep with the window open in case someone crawled in the wind don't give me, I don't have to worry about saving with my fucking window open because I'm going to die from heart disease, the silent killer.
Oh. Oh, my God. That's fucking rattled me anyway. Very, very dark. I'm so sorry guys. Fuck mate. We are like 30 minutes into this podcast. One person's already died and I can't
Mason Lauder: [00:25:07] come me up four minutes, four minutes.
Isn't it four minutes
Toni Lodge: [00:25:14] till the second one.
Mason Lauder: [00:25:19] Did they say, I thought they said 17.
Toni Lodge: [00:25:20] Oh, I thought it was, I thought it was 19 minutes. I think we should forget about it because it's really dark. I'm so sorry, actually, that might've been like really triggering for someone to hear. Was it 19. Okay. Thank God. I was right. Um, I'm really sorry, everyone. That was so fucking duck.
The reason I brought up,
the reason I brought up how hard it's been lately, because I didn't sleep very well last night. And I woke up with a note on my phone that said podcast, how do you sleep? That's why that's why. And we should just never, ever talk about it again. I was going to ask if you sleep on your side or your tummy, and then we were talking about these things, which is not good.
I feel so bad. I'm so sorry. I can dark. Oh
Mason Lauder: [00:26:17] no. I'm side and back sleeper. But same, same thing. I cannot sleep when it's hot. And the worst, the worst thing is so yeah. We've only got one econ for the whole house and we're downstairs. So luckily like Dan says, it's called a and I, and I shut all the windows during the day.
So downstairs was like phrasing and outside was like 30 degrees.
Toni Lodge: [00:26:38] I love it when it's freezing, like when it's too cold.
Mason Lauder: [00:26:41] Yeah. Like there's not air con in this bedroom. And so like just last night was just,
Toni Lodge: [00:26:46] yep. Do you have like an oscillating fan? Like a pedestal fan? No, just go and get one. They literally $12 from fucking came up.
Yeah, they make so much difference. And actually the other thing that I've been seeing recently on like catch of the day and stuff, you know, that website, we can get like sick deals on dumb shit. Um, seek deals on dumb shit. If they need me to be a spokesperson, I'm perfect for it. Um, they do these like little portable air cons that you plug in.
They've like USB power.
Mason Lauder: [00:27:16] Oh really?
Toni Lodge: [00:27:17] Yeah. And you just plugged them in and they like
Mason Lauder: [00:27:22] work.
Toni Lodge: [00:27:22] They work. Yeah. Excuse me. Well, anyway, that's all we've got time for today.
Do you, are you like. When you go to sleep, do you go, do you have like a certain routine when you get into bed? I know that I'll fall asleep on my right hand side or like, Oh, I'm on my right-hand side. I haven't fallen asleep yet. I know that if I go onto my tummy, I'll fall asleep.
Mason Lauder: [00:27:57] Hmm. It's probably more so, um, I've always, like, I slept a voice, slept like I've been in a coffin, like just, um, like real
Toni Lodge: [00:28:05] like freaky.
Mason Lauder: [00:28:07] Yeah. Yeah. So it's like that. And then, and then with grace, like I'm S I'm so particular, like it's, it's like if I have breathing in my ear, If I can hear a breath, I just I'm so particular.
Toni Lodge: [00:28:22] Oh, I didn't expect that for me. Cause you're like quite easy going like. Yeah,
Mason Lauder: [00:28:27] not very, very pedantic when it comes to that.
And so like, if I'm, if I'm on my side and I can hear a breath, I'll roll over. So yeah. It's, I've got,
Toni Lodge: [00:28:37] and yours is how much you can hear. Not like how you fall asleep.
Mason Lauder: [00:28:41] Yeah. Yeah. I can hear something and like, so like pates one thing to piss me off. But then if I have like another thing, like I just. I really struggled to sleep properly.
Toni Lodge: [00:28:51] So if like your family is watching TV or, um, there's people like talking outside or like a party next door or something like, can you not sleep through that? Uh, or is it just if it's like right next to you
Mason Lauder: [00:29:04] right next to me it's so I can drag it out if it's further away, but if it's like, right. Yeah. If it's close, it's just,
Toni Lodge: [00:29:11] yeah.
Mason Lauder: [00:29:13] Occasionally not, not, not, not a heap. I think. Yeah. Well, cause I always thought I'd install it, but I had no one to tell me that. And so I snore a little bit as well,
Toni Lodge: [00:29:21] but that's the worst cause you go, yeah, I never snore. And then like a new boyfriend or girlfriend says like, yes you do bitch. Like they have them with the tubes.
And I was like, yeah, I don't really snore. He's like, you sound like a train, you fucking a hundred percent snore. I do. I snore when I'm really, really tired. Like. Really tired, but I don't snore that much. I don't think. But like, the reason I ask about your like sleeping routine is because when I, so I always have the TV on to go to sleep.
Mason Lauder: [00:29:52] Really?
Toni Lodge: [00:29:53] Yeah. Because if there's no noise that I know is coming, I listen for noises that I don't know are coming. So if the TV is not on, I hear like a Creek 45 kilometers away. I'm like, someone's coming to get me. Like, I just, I can't. Deal with it. Um, so I always have the TV on, but I saw, but I wear an eye mask as well.
Like, uh, it's a lovely silk iron mask, I guess
Mason Lauder: [00:30:20] like the pillowcases, like the same,
Toni Lodge: [00:30:23] same thing. So like, I've got like a little quilted iron mask, so I can't see anything, but it's just like white noise. Um, but I have to watch like a TV show that I've seen a million times so that nothing unexpected comes up.
So like, I'll watch like the it crowd or the office or the in-betweeners, or like Katherine Kim or something that I've watched like millions of times anyway, but I get into bed and I lay on my right side with my left leg. Like. Over. So I'm kind of half on my tummy, but like I'm on my side. And if that doesn't work, I know exactly how long, like I can lay there for, and if I haven't fallen asleep yet, then I go onto my tummy with my left leg up and my face to the right.
Mason Lauder: [00:31:15] Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Toni Lodge: [00:31:16] Yeah. And then after I know that it's been too long and I haven't fallen asleep that way. Then I turned my head back to the right, but I'm still on my tummy and my arm goes under the pillow. And if I haven't fallen asleep before I've gotten to there, I know that that I'll be out like a lot,
Mason Lauder: [00:31:32] really what happens with the TV?
Toni Lodge: [00:31:37] Oh, it just turns off after like half an hour or whatever. Yeah. It's sorry. It's like my iPad. Like I just set my iPad just like on the lowest brightness on, and I always have it set on like night mode, so there's no blue light and I, um, Uh, really quiet, like the lowest volume. Sorry. Fuck. I just didn't know what I was saying then, but yeah.
So the first way on my right, the second way on my tummy to the right and this third way on my tummy to the left. But if, but yeah, if nothing else has worked, I know that on my tummy to the left, that I'll be out straight away.
Mason Lauder: [00:32:13] Really? Yeah. You have to go through all the other steps to get there.
Toni Lodge: [00:32:16] Yes. Yeah.
I would say day so I can just get. Right there. And then if by some crazy Lord miracle, I haven't fallen asleep in that position, which I think has happened like maybe three times then if I lay on my back on awful, it's like, cause my body's like full asleep. She's angry. She's on her back. Yeah.
Mason Lauder: [00:32:46] Like, how, how often are you getting to the stage where your, you know, one arm is under the pillow and you're on the front
Toni Lodge: [00:32:53] maybe once a week. Okay. Yeah. Like generally every Sunday I get there because Oh, Sunday night I find it so hard to go to bed early. So cause I wake up at like, fuck a clock for work.
My real job, not this one. Um, this isn't a job. This is just fun. We just get to have fun and insult people. Um, Uh, on a Sunday is really hard. Cause I'll wake, like I'll sleep in until like nine or 10 o'clock, which is huge compared to waking up at like four or five. And then Sunday night, it's so hard to go to sleep knowing that I have to wake up early again.
So Sunday night I always sleep awfully. Which is why I was saying I didn't sleep very well last night, because it's just hard to get back into the swing of things. But anyway, um, yeah, generally Sunday night it takes me a while to get to sleep. But other nights I'm normally fine just because I wa this is not interesting.
I, Oh my God. I'm just so tired by the time I get like some nights I'm sitting on the couch at 7:00 PM and I'm like, I've got to go to bed, but then there's some nights where I've done the exact same thing and it's nine 30 and I'm like, God, I'm really, I really need to go to bed, but I just, I'm not tired yet.
Mason Lauder: [00:34:11] Yeah, wait,
Toni Lodge: [00:34:15] I'm putting myself to fucking say people listen to this and put themselves to bed.
Mason Lauder: [00:34:19] God don't need the whole routine.
Toni Lodge: [00:34:22] Oh God. Listen to 40 minutes into one trick Tony from the episode 16. Oh, I didn't. Isn't a baby. So when she said all that horrible stuff. Yeah, it is,
Mason Lauder: [00:34:32] uh, I dunno.
Toni Lodge: [00:34:37] I know you don't watch much TV, but do you follow auntie Donna? You know, the Austria comedians? Oh my God. They're so fucking funny. So it's like, it's like three guys, but there's like six of them. I think that like write and produce and do all their audio and stuff. It's like three guys that do like sketches and they've got a podcast and it's way better than this one.
Um, And they just released a show on Netflix. Um, it's called auntie Donna's big old house fun. And it's like an Australian sketch show. And it's, I know you don't watch a lot of TV, but it's very funny.
Mason Lauder: [00:35:09] It's worth watching.
Toni Lodge: [00:35:10] Yeah, I really liked it, but I, I love Australian comedy. Like a lot of people don't love Australian comedy, but.
Like have you, Oh, you don't want to crush too, babe. Fuck. You're the West. Um, have you ever watched, please like me, the Josh Thomas show. Okay. Have you watched? No, it's not even worth it anyway. I love Australian comedy, like stuff like that. Actually, if you're listening and you've got any shows that you think I would like, can you let me know?
Cause I love Australian TV. I just, I think that Australian comedy is just the worst of the three, but I love it. And the three being us, UK and Australian. It's just so good. There's just something about like, The relate-ability of Australian comedy. When people say something about LA a foreign 20 pie, or like, you know what I mean?
Do you know what actually though, watching the actors? Yeah,
Mason Lauder: [00:36:04] worst, by the way, surely UK has to be funnier.
Toni Lodge: [00:36:07] See, I love English humor. I really, really do, but I like American humor as well, because I think we get conditioned to like it because all the movies we watch are American, like yeah. Um, but I, I love English humor.
Like I was talking about, um, watching it crowd before and the inbetweeners black books, um, crashing anything by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, she's actually the wallpaper on my phone that she's hilarious. Um, Fleabag obviously included in that. Um, Oh, what other English TV shows are really good. Um, Oh, do you know what though?
Controversial? I prefer that. Yeah. U S office to the K office.
Mason Lauder: [00:36:48] I've never seen the UK office actually to be, to be fair. I haven't seen either of them. I just watched snippets on YouTube
Toni Lodge: [00:36:54] and just not be shit. I just don't know why you don't like anything. I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about baseball
money. If anybody would want to talk to me about TV, that'd be great. Hit me up on Instagram. We can chat about TV cause patient doesn't like talking to me about TV.
Mason Lauder: [00:37:17] We were watching selling sunsets on. Netflix at the moment.
Toni Lodge: [00:37:21] I mean, like it's good trash, but it's not like to good hard yards into being a TV person.
Mason Lauder: [00:37:29] more movie, more of a movie guy.
Toni Lodge: [00:37:31] Okay. What's the last movie you watched?
Mason Lauder: [00:37:33] Um,
Toni Lodge: [00:37:35] so you're not a movie guy. You're lying. You're lying guy.
Mason Lauder: [00:37:39] Probably like oceans, baby.
Toni Lodge: [00:37:41] Oh, we talked about that last last week. I said to you, Oh, that was somebody else I talked about on the podcast about how I watched all of them in one weekend tops.
And I watch all of them in one weekend. Yeah. I told you about that. But then someone, the other day, like a couple of weekends ago said like, Oh, we're thinking about watching ocean's movies. And I was like, ah, tubs. And I recently watched all of them and then watch ocean's eight. And then they said, Oh, I might watch ocean's eight.
And I was like, oceans eight. Isn't as funny, unless you've watched all of them. Cause you don't get all the jokes anyway. It wasn't you, it was someone else. It doesn't matter. Um,
Mason Lauder: [00:38:23] We 45 minutes in now.
Toni Lodge: [00:38:25] Fucking hope. It's the end. I want to go home. I'm 41. We've only got like 20 minutes to fill. We can figure that out. Do you know what I am?
Mason Lauder: [00:38:36] We haven't to Scattergories game yet either.
Toni Lodge: [00:38:39] I know I picked up the dice and then I was like, I feel like we're too. Um, I was going to the thing that I was going to say about auntie Donna though, is that like, so they all just started writing all this comedy together and like making skits and putting them on Facebook and stuff and like making Facebook videos made me so jealous.
I want to be an actor, I think
Mason Lauder: [00:39:00] really?
Toni Lodge: [00:39:01] Yeah. Like a comedy act or.
Mason Lauder: [00:39:03] That'd be fun.
Toni Lodge: [00:39:04] I would love that. That'd be so fun.
Mason Lauder: [00:39:07] I, the F Y don't know if they do, they don't really do it with, uh, I guess I sometimes say it, but just like really getting into the set, like, you know how, like there's a set and it helps you, like it's built out and everything.
Like it's this real fake world that they've made at camp, not just me. I love that. Like just
Toni Lodge: [00:39:29] now I get what you mean. Yeah. It's like, it's like very surreal that they've like that an idea that someone's had is created for people to say it. Yeah. No,
Mason Lauder: [00:39:39] I feel like the, I mean, it's probably not that great.
Cause it's like green screened and it's in like a studio, but I feel like the sets would be very cool.
Toni Lodge: [00:39:46] I think it would be really cool to really like trans. Form yourself, but also that really take yourself there. Like you'd instantly been character, like when you are on the set.
Mason Lauder: [00:40:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.
Toni Lodge: [00:40:01] Kind of like how we don't do that when we sit down with this podcast, um, yeah, it just looks so fun and they're just like killing it. Like, you know, when you say other Aussies that you followed for ages, I really just like Excel and makes me so excited. Like. When just like Australians do really well overseas or like get huge.
It's just like, Oh, just makes me feel so proud. So dumb. But like, I hope that one day people are saying that about me because I've just really put myself out there just then I've like made fake friends with people on the internet. I'm like, hello, don't forget about me. Um, I just, before we started recording this, I saw that, you know, a few months ago, How, um, Alan's came out and they said that they acknowledged the racist names of red skins and Chicos.
Did you say today that they're gonna re name them? Uh, really? Yeah. So red skins are going to be red reapers and Chico's are going to be cheek keys.
Mason Lauder: [00:41:10] I don't mind that.
Toni Lodge: [00:41:10] Yeah, I think that's really nice.
Mason Lauder: [00:41:14] Yeah. I
Toni Lodge: [00:41:15] read your report. I wrote a report that makes more fucking sense than calling it a red skin. Like that actually just makes more sense.
Yeah. And she I'm like the little logos and stuff for real cute that they've released. I really liked that. I know. Yeah. I reckon lots of people would come out and be like, God political correctness gone mad, but like, you're fucking, obviously a privileged white person. That's like, Oh, why don't we have to change up Mike?
Well, if someone's offended or upset by something, then we should change it. But I really liked that they actually did that because I think it's really important for our growth.
Mason Lauder: [00:41:50] Hmm. Yeah. Completely. Yeah. But the other thing is as well, like it doesn't like them rebranding it. Like it's not, it doesn't take much did it to that.
You know, like it's a
Toni Lodge: [00:41:59] very,
Mason Lauder: [00:42:00] it's a, it's a, it's a small set that goes like a massive white, right? Like it, it makes a big impact and it says lots about it, but it's like, It's actually not that much for them to do.
Toni Lodge: [00:42:11] And also it doesn't affect anybody negatively the way that it does affects people negatively, but changing it, like who is going to go, Oh, I'm really offended that now it's called a red Reaper.
Like anybody that says that it's is just butt hurt, that it's changed, you know? And I just fucking hate that, like attitude, but yeah, it just like made me really happy when I saw that, because I thought that that was a really nice step. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess, because at the moment, all the news is shit.
Like news around the world is just like harrowing news of, you know, like COVID stories and, you know, people that are like not doing very well because they lost their job during COVID and you know, all that. And it's just, I don't know. It was just nice to see something that felt lack of. Nice. Do you have any stories?
Do you have anything you want to talk about?
Mason Lauder: [00:43:04] Well, I mean, I honestly, on a similar vein, like we like grace and I went out on the weekend into fed square for like, like Saturday night's our date night. And so we went out and made a night of it. And so in fed square, they have these. Lights. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
They're like these cool, like arch wise that like galore, they've
Toni Lodge: [00:43:27] got idea. The idea behind it is that attack the rainbow at the end of the storm for Melbourne. Right. That it's like to signify that we've gotten through. It's really hard time. And it's like a beautiful thing to look at at the end. Yeah.
Really, really cool.
Mason Lauder: [00:43:40] It was, it was lovely. I know. I know. But, but yeah, we, we just, we just sat there and probably just sat there for like, maybe like an hour and we're just like, yeah, just listening to it. Cause they played like ambient noises and stuff that was like soothing and just watching people go run through them, kids running around, but the best bit was theirs, you know?
Um, In like live productions or anywhere where they have to cover up power cables,
Toni Lodge: [00:44:09] they use those little platforms.
Mason Lauder: [00:44:12] So they have one of those, but I would say. One and two people
Toni Lodge: [00:44:17] like
Mason Lauder: [00:44:19] tripping over every time and it just like the first year it was like, Oh my God. And then by the end of it, we were just pissing ourselves
Toni Lodge: [00:44:26] every single day.
Mason Lauder: [00:44:27] And we were like five minutes away. So like, it was very obvious, like when someone tripped, which is pissing ourselves, but it was so funny. It's like, fuck, like this bloke was filming and his big camera holding it with the tripod trips and like stumbles and runs and just absolute nightmare.
Toni Lodge: [00:44:43] Oh, I miss being tripping with no one with you.
Like the people are with you, you can recover and like, laugh about it. But when you're on your own, you just like, Oh God laugh about it. Cause you're there by yourself. So you just have to kind of go, Ooh, let you know, Hey, you can't have my phone. And then
Mason Lauder: [00:45:03] it was just the funniest thing. Just watching people trip.
Yeah, it's pretty cool. So my
Toni Lodge: [00:45:09] guess is no one like got hurt or anything. It's like a nice thing to do. Now. I am like, see stuff like that. I saw as well that, um, there, China, this is all around Australia as well. Not just Melbourne, um, that like our sky show is canceled. Like the fireworks. They're not doing the fireworks and it's the same NWA.
Obviously that's where I'm from. So I say the news from there all the time. Um, and so I saw someone comment like, Oh, taking the fireworks away, another thing that you're taking away from the kids and stuff like that. And I was like, but there's so much stuff that you can do. Like the rainbow Archway that you're talking about.
There's so much stuff that you can do. You just have to go and find it. And like, I don't think that kids really care about fireworks. To be honest,
Mason Lauder: [00:45:54] who's awake for five. Like, you know what I mean?
Toni Lodge: [00:45:57] I fucking, I think fireworks are so fucking overrided.
Mason Lauder: [00:46:01] Like how much money they spend on cost so
Toni Lodge: [00:46:05] much money, but like you say, one fireworks, display.
You've seen them all. Yeah. You've seen them all. They all look the same. I get that. They're a fate of engineering and design is incredible and all of that. And I respect it as an art form, but in terms of like at the end of the Royal show and like at the, yeah, at like, uh, um, new year's or, um, like. Hmm, all of those celebration type of days and they do it and I'm just like, fuck, it's costing you half a million dollars or something.
And they go for so long now fireworks displays. They go for like, sometimes like 20, 30 minutes. It's too fucking long when I lived in Bunbury. So my first radio job, Oh my God. I've mentioned that twice. Did I? Sorry. But I did the, um, Like sky show, um, soundtrack. So I like created like a massive soundscape to go with the fireworks.
It was really, really cool. So I designed it all and they designed the fireworks around what I made. So like any songs, right when like Pew, Pew, Pew, let the fireworks went. Pew, Pew, Pew. Anyway, it was really, really cool, but it for like 22 and a half minutes, I think. That's a long fucking time. You can't tell me that fireworks are for kids because kids can't even sit still for three minutes for one song, let alone a massive montage of music and like noise.
That goes to 22 minutes. Bad for dogs. Isn't it? Five
Mason Lauder: [00:47:35] weeks.
Toni Lodge: [00:47:36] Yeah.
Mason Lauder: [00:47:37] I don't want to go down why? I don't want to go down the death route, but I did. I was just trying to Google. How many of them
Toni Lodge: [00:47:44] do people die from fire?
Mason Lauder: [00:47:46] I think so. Yeah. Definitely dangerous.
Toni Lodge: [00:47:50] Oh, let the operators die. Let the technicians,
Mason Lauder: [00:47:55] well, now it's more
Toni Lodge: [00:47:57] technicians.
Mason Lauder: [00:47:58] No, this is, this is more just like home sort of a hundred thousand, sorry. 10,000 injuries were treated in the U S hospital emergency department during the calendar year of 2019 injuries yet.
Toni Lodge: [00:48:11] Wow. That seems very high. I didn't even know that. I didn't even know that fireworks really were legal.
Mason Lauder: [00:48:19] Oh, they are in the U S I think,
Toni Lodge: [00:48:21] I thought they were only, I thought they were legal in the U S but they were legal in like Mexico and not, no, I didn't think about Canada maybe.
Cause I just remembered that there's like a, um, a Simpsons episode from years ago where he tried at home and tries to buy fireworks for the 4th of July and up who like takes him around there. Back of the quickie Mart to give them to him because they're illegal. That's where my knowledge comes from old Simpsons episodes.
He's that? Not factual. He joking. I can't believe it.
Mason Lauder: [00:48:59] Yeah, but I mean like the law. Yeah. Do you think about the money that goes into the fireworks that, that art installation, when the cost heaps,
Toni Lodge: [00:49:07] like yeah, but it's there and people can go and view it as they
Mason Lauder: [00:49:11] were like, twenty-five minutes. Just like, just,
Toni Lodge: [00:49:14] but you can go there if you want to, you don't have to, you could go there every fucking night if you aren't like fill your boots, but yeah.
You know, it doesn't really hurt anybody. And I just, yeah, I just, I think fireworks. So one of those things that have kind of like, they haven't really moved with the times. You know, I feel like it's an old thing. Like it's just, we've just kind of moved past it,
Mason Lauder: [00:49:36] for sure.
Toni Lodge: [00:49:37] Like, not like fashion, but just like people like a bit more woke now.
They're like, do we need to spend that much money on that? If there's other ways that people, the public can enjoy themselves for less money in like less disruption.
Mason Lauder: [00:49:53] Yeah, for sure. Squat, a
Toni Lodge: [00:49:54] political episode of one-trick Tony, the podcast. I quite like it though. I hope other people don't hide it.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:02] That's been fun.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:03] might hate the beginning,
the beginning. That's okay. Oh, when we talked about those people that died from heart disease,
Mason Lauder: [00:50:13] not ideal, is it.
Toni Lodge: [00:50:14] That wasn't great. I'm sorry, everybody. We just thought it'd be nice. Well, we didn't think it would be nice to put your Christmas tree up.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:24] I would say started December,
Toni Lodge: [00:50:26] like religiously, the 1st of December and not a day before.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:30] Nah, we're not, we're not super. Um,
Toni Lodge: [00:50:33] okay.
Mason Lauder: [00:50:33] Yeah. We're not. Yeah. We're not like if it's, if it's the 3rd of December, that's like that weekend the weekend of the 1st of December, because like, we're not like if it's, if it's a mandate we're not doing Monday,
Toni Lodge: [00:50:45] you know, is it a big family thing for you?
Mason Lauder: [00:50:48] Mm nah, it's, it's probably gone.
I think, I think it was. And then. It's mostly copy now. And so it's it's mum and dad is, Oh, well, can you put the tray up or,
Toni Lodge: [00:51:00] um,
Mason Lauder: [00:51:01] sort of offloaded the last year I did it and I put all the decorations on and then my brother came and he was like, nah, not happy with it. So he said, I want you fix up all the decorations.
And so he just moved them all and yeah, no one year older.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:19] Oh, okay. One year. Yep. That's close. Yeah.
Is he your only brother?
Mason Lauder: [00:51:31] No, I've got a, I've got a younger sibling as well.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:34] Yeah. There's someone in the world that's younger than you.
Two years. Yep. Is that a boy or a girl?
Mason Lauder: [00:51:43] Boy.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:44] Oh, three boys,
Mason Lauder: [00:51:46] three boys, three boys.
Toni Lodge: [00:51:47] Your poor mum or baby people say that all the fucking time. All your poor mom.
Anyway. Um, Well, my family when my mom was around. So when we were all growing up and even after everybody moved out of home and I was the only kid at home, we always religiously, 1st of December, the tree would go up. Even if it was the middle of the way, core a Monday or something, we would have like a massive dinner and it would be like a big celebration.
And, um, there's this every year. And we would like put the tray up. Um, and it's like the biggest honor that you could get would be, um, putting the angel on top of the trailer. Mum, mum would pick someone every year and we would like put all the, like all the. And we would listen to this one Christmas album that mum liked.
And it was, um, it was so awful. I love it, but it's awful. It's Ann Marie and Kenny Rogers singing Christmas songs. So it's like country style Christmas. It's just listening back on it. Now. I like like it because of the memories, but like actually. It's it's awful. Anyway. And then we would like to put all the lights on the tree, and then this is so dark is so doggy.
Then we would walk across the road so that we could say so that we could say our tray from the road so that we could say what people would say when that was like driving or walking. Oh, and it's so wholesome, but I remember it being like a massive event. Like all of us loved it. It was like so sweet and so wholesome.
And all of us being like, Oh, I can't wait till we walk across the road. Like looking at the train, like so sweet. And, um, and like, since my mom passed away and I like moved out of home and all of that, like, I've definitely not been. Cause she was, so my mom was so, so into Christmas, like. Absolutely loved it.
So we all did. And like when she passed away, just kind of like faded away a bit. And this year I was like, you know what, now I'm going to really enjoy Christmas this year. And I ordered myself a massive fucking tree, like this huge tree. It arrived today. Um, yeah. And it's, it's like it's 210 centimeters tall.
So it's like, it's cute. And I bought a half tree. So it's like got flat, got a flat back so that it will fit in our apartment.
Mason Lauder: [00:54:28] Right. That's good.
Toni Lodge: [00:54:30] Isn't it such a good and adult investment. And so it's got like the flat back on it so we can put it like, so you can like butter, put it against the
Mason Lauder: [00:54:40] wall.
Toni Lodge: [00:54:40] Yeah.
All that into a corner or whatever. I'm so excited because I'm going to go and buy some like really nice decorations. So I need to know what, like color scheme I should go. Um, because. My friend Jane, she suggested like a white, silver and gold, like very classic Christmas theme, but I'm not really sure what I'm going to go yet.
Maybe. Um, if anybody's got any suggestions, maybe we'll do a little Paul on Instagram or something. Very exciting. Decorate my tree. Um, but yeah, so I decided I'm going to fucking smash Christmas this year. I'm so excited and this tree is fucking huge. I'm so, so excited. I'm going to literally just have Christmas season going all the time, but not before the first.
Because that's illegal.
Mason Lauder: [00:55:31] That's legit.
Toni Lodge: [00:55:33] I know. I'm really, really excited. Um, and I said to Tobes, like, I'm going to buy a tray. I'm really excited about it. Yeah. And he said, okay, great. He's so supportive. I fucking love it. He's so good. Um, and yeah, I'm sorry. I'm so happy.
Mason Lauder: [00:55:48] It's like, I love, I love the light cause we've got like a little balcony outside and it's sort of got, so we get like our lights and we dangle down it's so
Toni Lodge: [00:55:58] I love it.
God, I could do that on my balcony.
Mason Lauder: [00:56:01] Yeah, do it. That'd be so bad.
Toni Lodge: [00:56:05] Oh, my God,
Mason Lauder: [00:56:05] dad, you really get into it. Like we had like a reindeer and like, it was one of those led ones that we hung up as well. It was like in front of the glass, like the glass window on the balcony and lost one of its legs. Like the light just went off.
So like the less than another one. So then the next year we've been it it's just, yeah,
Toni Lodge: [00:56:24] love it. I just think that all that stuff is just so wholesome. Like you have to be a really special type of person to like. Put up outside lights for other people to enjoy, like, because it's literally cause you can't see it, right.
I mean your Christmas trees a little bit different, but putting lights up outside is just so fucking wholesome. Like there's just something about it because. You just, you can't see yourself, you, you use your own power for it, but then when you go and go like, like Christmas light hunting. So my sister and her husband and I used to go every Christmas Eve, Eve.
So the 23rd of December, we used to go every 23rd of December, Christmas Eve, we would go and we would go Christmas, light hunting, like around our area. Cause there were in, in Perth, there's some fucking wicked straits. Like they are absolutely turned up. Um, one of them, um, uh,
Oh, there's a really, really famous one. I can't remember the name of it. Consulate court is one of them, so really, really famous one. And there's another straight anyway. And you like, you wouldn't be able to drive down the street. You'd have to park like five streets away and walk down this that you could walk through the streets.
And isn't that just the most beautiful thing in the world. And they always like, uh, raising money for like cancer foundations and, Oh, it's
Mason Lauder: [00:57:56] so lovely.
Toni Lodge: [00:57:57] I love Christmas so much.
Mason Lauder: [00:58:04] Yeah. The, the P the people down the road from us, like, they, they do a great job just like really decking their whole place,
Toni Lodge: [00:58:10] but you just have to be such a nice person because you're doing that for your community. Like it's not for you.
Mason Lauder: [00:58:15] Mm. Yeah. Yeah. What is a little bit of a flex, just being like, I've got the best Christmas decoration,
Toni Lodge: [00:58:20] because they're pretty fucking expensive.
Oh yeah. Like I couldn't, I mean, I don't have a house I'm not. Fucking Ricky Martin. But again, the only celebrity I could think of, I don't know what's wrong with me, but you know, I don't have a house, but I don't, I don't have enough money to let go on deck. The holes with bows off Holly. Again, only thing I could think of, but like decking your house out.
Like Sandra's on the roof and Randy's on the thing and fucking lights everywhere. Like it's expensive.
Mason Lauder: [00:58:50] Oh yeah. Well, I guess you buy them once and you're just reusing them every year.
Toni Lodge: [00:58:55] Good point. Actually, it's an investment, a future investment.
Okay. Let's read some reviews. We've talked enough today. I feel, I think people are over it. Oh no. My little Google things logged out. Whether of user logged back in. Oh, no,
it says it's logging in, but it's not doing it.
Oh, it's logging in. Yeah, you do one though. Okay.
Mason Lauder: [00:59:30] Okay. What should we do? So we actually got an email. Yep. Yeah. We got an email from Jordan.
So Jordan says hi, Tony just wanted to say a huge, thanks.
Toni Lodge: [00:59:49] We've never gotten an email before.
Mason Lauder: [00:59:52] Just wanted to say a huge thanks. I was leaving work and completely forgot to steal the coffee grounds from the kitchen, from my garden. But luckily I put your podcast on to drive home and the subject of the conversation, coffee grounds.
What are the odds? So I quickly ran inside. And grabbed them and got them before the cleanup in them. Also. Now I have more ideas on how to use them. I thought maybe I'd steal some more and I make them to use coffee scrubs as gifts, this Christmas, and thought you could as well force those coffee grounds on people.
Love your work, Jordan, P S sorry. If this is boring content and not what you intended the email to be used as,
Toni Lodge: [01:00:32] Oh my God. I actually might cry. I think it's just because we would just lean back Christmas, Christmas camps.
Oh my God. That's so sweet. I'm going to blow my nose.
Oh, my God, I blow my nose like an old man. It's like a real honk. That's so fucking cute. Oh, should we send Jordan something? Oh, well
Mason Lauder: [01:01:07] actually
Toni Lodge: [01:01:10] I actually, I'm actually like five weeks behind.
Mason Lauder: [01:01:17] I
Toni Lodge: [01:01:17] know. So I fall behind. I feel so bad. They're all sitting here. I've got them. I'm just too lazy. I actually just got this gift wrapping station.
Maybe I'll wrap them all up in Christmas.
Mason Lauder: [01:01:30] Oh, that could be cute. I just, we could send them out for Christmas.
Toni Lodge: [01:01:35] You could. Okay. I can. Um, yeah, actually, maybe I'll say that. That was my intention all along and I wanted them to have a Christmas gift from. Me. Okay. All right. Reviews. Oh, okay. Would you like to do the F I'll do the first one.
Cause you just did one. Okay. Okay. This one's from Jacinta, not a very creative name. That's fine. Tony. Love you girl. Oh. You're so hilarious and have absolutely drawn me in with your amazing personality and raw energy. Some of the stuff you talk about, I would never have the guts to be at that open with anyone.
Oh God. Should I say less stuff? Oh my God. You make me smile. And I look forward to many more potties to come have a beautiful day. Oh, just sent us over saying that you had a boring name. Love you.
You can do Tori.
Mason Lauder: [01:02:31] Okay. Tori with two eyes, two, one, three, four. Beautiful. Am I Tony? My absolute favorite potty. Tony. I love your wicked sense of humor and your banter with patient
Toni Lodge: [01:02:45] profile.
Mason Lauder: [01:02:49] However, I'm a seriously say, I'm a bit scared about how much you and you and I are alike obsessions with Zoe foster Blake pedantic shopping lists.
We both have fringes and many others lull. You make me feel like I'm a friend and have this gut feeling I'll be telling people have loved you since the beginning, when you're super rich and famous.
Toni Lodge: [01:03:13] Yeah, that's so sweet. Fuck you, Tori. That's beautiful. Um, this last one is from Maddie F G K J H. And I know who this is. Because that's such a shit username and I don't know anybody else would have it. And you can tell from the content. I absolutely love my Tony time. Every Thursday, this podcast is amazing.
Never fails time. You laugh, loved playing the Scattergories dice game with your boats. Sorry, Maddie. We didn't play it today. I'm probably the only person worse than pacing at the game. Lovely guys. Thank you, Maddie. I'll not be sending you a Mars bar though. Um, I don't need to make friends with friends.
I've already got shot. I mean, and I, you know what, I would like to point out that every week we read out reviews, we read out three and they are always glowing. I would just like to point out that we don't pick good ones. You like pace and just pick some at random, they're just whichever ones he gets, but there's actually just no fucking negative ones.
So we can't write a negative review. It makes me sound like I'm really wanking myself up. I'm like, Oh my God, Tony. So pretty and funny. And my soul, like, but it's really not like that. Literally. They're just also fucking good because this podcast is so good. So if you would like to leave a bad review. That would be fine, but please don't unless you really feel that way.
And in which we encourage you to speak to them, speak to your mind speech on my speech. Like, what is that song free? That's what I was thinking. You wouldn't know that song that's from earlier than last week. Okay. Anyway. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening today to our. 16th episode
with no connotations. Um, It's been an amazing day and sorry, got a little bit heavy in the middle there. Hopefully. No one hated that. And, um, make sure that if you like this podcast or if you liked the last episode that we did with the Mitch's, that there's an episode that I did with them, um, on their podcast feed as well.
That features me, which is really, really fun. So if you haven't make sure you go and like, and subscribe. There. Wait, do you like it or did you just subscribe to subscribe? I'm so sorry. I sound a hundred.
Oh yeah. Like comment, subscribe. Um, Ah, make sure that you subscribe to their podcasts as well, but not before you've subscribed to this one or I'll fucking kill you. Oh, sorry. No, I won't. I'm not hot
Mason Lauder: [01:05:56] window.
I'm not heart disease. So better a chair anyway. Um, thank you so much for listening. We absolutely love you.
Um, you can find us on Instagram at one trick Tony show. Um, you can email us, write letters to us, everything, everything, everything. All, all the information's on Instagram and we'll see you next week. Amazing. Goodbye. Love you. Not you. The people that are listening. Cause it's weird. If I say it to you personally, .